Especially when you have none!

It was with much hilarity tonight that I read an article about polling results published by some money-worshipping mob called Essential Research.

Yes, I do have a particular personal bias against these marketing data-retrieving scumbags, but I’ll press on anyway. The article claimed that Ashes losing captain Ricky Ponting was still comfortably more popular than Liberal and Opposition Leader Malcolm Turnball.

Now maybe it’s just me, but I am finding it hard to fathom how a survey by a group of Satan’s minions from the Marketing world can accurately make a correlation of popularity levels between the Australian Test Cricket Captain and the Leader of the Opposition.

I am even more of a cricket fanatic than John Weasel Howard, and I’ve always held a higher regard for our Test Captain than our Prime Minister. Except during the Mark Taylor years, when I held both him and Howard in the greatest possible contempt.

My problem is not with our cricket captain (who I fully support no matter what bad shit the press or the ill-informed spectators give him) or our politicians (who are all a mob of complete and utter incompetent arse-monkeys anyway). My current momentary beef is with the Marketing Villains who can somehow come up with a ridiculous report that rates the popularity of a sportsman against a politician.

Without even bothering to consider the fact that in Australia an elite sportsman is generally going to be more popular (unless you are Jana, Leyton or Mundine) than a scumbag politician anyway, I’d like to ask the question ‘How the hell did Lucifer’s Crew come up with a set of marketing research questions that could plot lines on a graph that would make a definitive statement about the levels of popularity of two people in two vastly different spheres of influence’?

It’s almost as impossible to fathom as the continued high ratings of A Current Affair, Today Tonight and Kyle ‘I’ve-no-social-conscious-and-no-ability-to-interact-on-a-humanitarian-level-and-can’t-go-to-St-Kilda-because-scary-scruffy-rant-guy-will-headbutt-me’ Sandilands!

Oh, and on that topic, just I case you’re looking for a breathtaking display of quality journalism tonight, A Current Affair is running the Telephone-Company-pricing-scams-you-are-getting-ripped-off story for about the sixth time this year, so you’ll have to go look somewhere else.

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