Snakes On A Plane
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ALRIGHT!! The Pet Issue is done and delivered (thank you Scotty) so everyone can stop nagging us.
I was going to start working on the Special Edition, but having sort of (ok, not really) managed to come to grips with writing while not smoking, I have now been completely thrown by the whole Snakes on a Plane thing.
Sounds like a joke, right? Or even a stupid movie that someone got Samuel L Jackson reeeeeally drunk and then signed up to star in? Well, you’re wrong, it’s not. Bloody Qantas have apparently LOST four snakes on a plane in Melbourne.
I’m not kidding, look at this: http://www.theage.com.au/travel/travel-news/snakes-on-a-plane-killed-20090415-a7h7.html
The sheer number of things that are wrong with the whole idea is staggering. WHATTHHELL do you need to put snakes on a plane for anyway?? Was there some kind of emergency where a place suddenly didn’t have enough snakes and needed to get some shipped in?? What kind of world do we live in where a shortage of snakes is a problem that needs addressing and what kind of lunatics are addressing it? Can’t we book them a nice long stay in a quiet rubber room somewhere?
However, even if you were living in Bizzaro World where there was a good reason to PUT SNAKES ON A PLANE surely, surely, surely you would seal them up in an iron box and weld it shut so they couldn’t escape first?? What did they do, throw them all in a damp cardboard box? Decide that they couldn’t be arsed finding a proper container, so bugger it, we’ll just use the one that cat died in last week?
Also, if you were in some CreepyWeirdoNUTCASE world where it is ok to put dozens of snakes into a cage built to hold a polar bear and stash it in the cargo hold of a plane, surely, surely surely, surely if the snakes do go wandering off YOU WOULD MAKE SOME EFFORT TO FIND THEM????
You wouldn’t just throw a few smoke bombs into the cargo hold and then head off to the pub, right? There are 4 snakes now wandering around Melbourne (what happens if they hid in someone's luggage??? Huh? Huh? ) that Qantas DELIBERATLY shipped in from Alice Springs and NO-ONE but me seems to be worried about this!
What is wrong with you people??
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