If ever I need proof that each generation is softer than the last I think of this: When my grandfather was my age he was pushing back the Japanese in the pacific. When my father was my age he was eating dangerous amounts of sugar in order to fail his medical for serving in Vietnam. And when I was my age, as I now am, I survived the great planking epidemic of 2011.

In three generations this nation’s youth has gone from brave upstanding soldiers protecting their country, to rebelling against an indefensible war to lying down for fun. Teen rebellion is no longer sex, drugs or Rock and Roll but, literally, lying down on the ground. The Australian Christian Lobby might think people like my grandfather didn’t fight for gay sharia marriage but I’m pretty sure the diggers wouldn’t have been too keen on unregulated planking at all hours.

At times it seems that all the internet does is give us access to new and disgusting types of pornography and speeding up the rate at which fads enter and then quickly exit the public consciousness (sometimes it does this both at the same time. After 2 girls 1 cup I was never the same). Last year we had ChatRoulette, a new and exciting way to webcam chat and flash penises with random people from all over the world. Ben Folds performed live on Chat Roulette. Celebs from Paris Hilton to Ashton Kutcher used the service and for a glorious month it was the new thing. And then, just as quickly as it arrived, ChatRoullette left the public consciousness. Perhaps it was the fact that an estimated 1 in 8 live streams involved penises is some way that accelerated its downfall, but as quickly as it came it was shuffled off to the internet obscurity graveyard, along with the dancing baby and myspace. Perverts have returned to flashing people the old fashioned way.

Fads now seem to go faster and end quicker than ever before. Within what seemed like a few weeks “planking” had gone from a forgotten internet meme from 2009 called the lying down game, to being resurrected by bored teenagers in Gladstone, on to a planking football star and then the world’s first planking fatality. From then on planking became public enemy number one, the Prime Minister and the Queensland police delivered straight face warnings of the dangers of competitive lying down to a slightly bemused public. As with most things Julia Gillard says, her disapproval only made planking even more popular. The South Australian and Queensland parliaments considered passing legislation to ban the dangerous practice of lying down on ones tummy. The newly formed Queensland Party proposed giving police new powers to give on the spot fine to plankers. Planking was dangerous, but that only increased its odd appeal, and then all of a sudden it was gone.

What was it that killed the planking fad? Photos of Sam Newman and Kerri-Anne planking probably didn’t help. I think historically the moment when Kerri-Anne did the Macarena with Peter Costello was the end of that fad as well. But like most fads that are born from the internet, you blink and you miss it. News outlets tried to keep the fire burning by writing stories on “teapotting”. Promoted as the “safe alternative to planking” (how there can be a safe alternative to lying down is beyond me) the creators of this would-be craze promoted striking a teapot pose in strange places for no real reason. Sadly however this would-be meme failed to take off so we were denied the chance to watch Tony Abbott announcing his “Stop the Teapotting” policy.

The reason some internet fads just take off seems to be mainly because of their lack of any real sense. In 2007 a recurring joke from the 4chan imageboards spread into the wider world. At first it was just a few internet geeks promising a fake URL such as “zomg new Transformers trailer” online for appropriate linkbait but then really sending people to the video of “never gonna give you up” by the 80’s favourite baritone ranga, Rick Astley. Today “rickrolling” is such an overused joke that it’s like the internet equivalent of one of those embarrassing dated dad joke.

2011 brought the infectiously stupid “Friday” by America teen Rebecca Black as the year’s most popular joke song. Something about an awkward teen’s lifeless autotuned voice singing the order of the days of the week clicked and, within a few weeks of going viral, the youtube video of the song had gone from sitting on a few hundred views to 167 million views. The song has since been covered by Stephen Colbert, the Glee cast and Katy Perry. But in a few months jokes about Friday will probably be sent to the same internet graveyard as the Star Wars kid and the Leave Britney Alone boy.

But back to planking, I’m one of those late 20 somethings who grew up as the internet changed from “that thing nerds and universities use” to “that thing we are connected to all the time, forever”. Back in my day kids would rebel with the usual stuff: loud angry music, alcohol and other forms of teen delinquency. And now the internet has changed our nations youth so much that the most dangerous youth trend of the year so far is competitive lying down? How will that keep your parents up at night? “Oh I just can’t sleep, that out of control Johnny could be lying down anywhere. What will the neighbours think if they find out we are the parents of an out of control teenage planker?” To today’s kids I say another long forgotten internet joke from the forgotten age of 2006. HTFU.

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Barclay White blogs at groupthink.com.au and tweets as @CosmicJester

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