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RT @melbwonkdrinks: Are you prepared for the Carbon Taxaggedon Countdown? 5pm June 30th, Great Northern Hotel #melbwonkdrinks
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@kecane Yes, will be back in about 10 days. Hopefully. #scopecreep
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A bomb goes off outside the PM's office, you're not really thinking "right, let's get to a holiday camp & look for a gunman".. #4corners
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@NoPlaceforSheep nice juxtaposition !!!!
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Can anyone think of anyone better than @janetribune for this? ABC Job: Want to be editor of @abcthedrum? http://t.co/LVjF8Beb
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@cyenne40 Yes, but in pain.
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How Christian are Christian lobbyists? - The Drum Opinion http://t.co/yeCGZ4Hm @foomeister Go. You. Good. Thang.
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@swearyanthony @ben_hr Vet! What a good idea! They must be constantly peed on!
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@cyenne40 The universe is going to swallow you whole in self defense soon. #dadjokes
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@ben_hr it's a wool coat. Soaking it is last option before binning it.
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Be White
| 
When I flew to London some years ago, it was at short notice, and I was therefore subject to a large degree of suspicion from the baboons, because obviously a terrorist is going to draw attention to himself by paying extra to get his passport in 48 hours, paying extra for a flight to London, and yelling "FUCK" in a very helpful fashion every time a baboon questioned him about his motives for going to London.
For instance, when I checked in prior to departure, one of the baboons was tasked to "check" my backpack. This entailed him undoing the zip just enough so it took ten minutes to re-pack the fucker, but not quite enough to actually check anything inside it, or in my pockets, or in the day-pack I was carrying, which contained a book, a large bottle of water, a packet of mints, my Lucky Gonk, a packet of polos (and a back-up Lucky Gonk), and some French postcards. But never mind, he put a sticker on the backpack saying "CHECKED", so everyone was made safe, thank you very much baboon detail.
Anyway…. Once I arrived at London, I assumed I would be subject to a similar level of attention from the English Baboons. I looked like I'd slept in my clothes (I had), and was under some kind of chemical influence (alcohol and valium, but nothing else), I was carrying a backpack and a daypack, I hadn't shaved in a week, and as I approached the Baboon Station I was already rehearsing my helpful ululations of "FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE".
But I didn't need to, because there was a dark-skinned man walking beside me. He was wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase whose combined value was at least as much as my car, and forget about his watch. But he had dark skin, and so he was selected for the "random" post-Customs security check before being allowed to leave the sacred halls of Heathrow.
The moral of the story is: Be White.
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