50 Things I Have Learned This Year

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1. No matter what anyone says, you cannot please ALL of the people ANY of the time

2. Once broken, some relationships can never be repaired

3. Most people can be cheered up by being emailed a picture of a baby llama, some puppies or an otter holding a bottle of beer

4. Microsoft owes me about three dozen free laptops

5. Music from MySpace, YouTube or Jango makes the work day go by much faster than silence and doesn't run my iPod flat

6. There is still FAR too much leopard print clothing in the world

7. For better or worse, a can of "Mother" or a giant coffee a day prevents coins accumulating in my purse

8. I am ridiculously excited when someone 'important' follows me on Twitter

9. That YouTube clip of the Slow Loris being tickled cheers me up no matter how many times I watch it

10. When I sing in private, I do the "Mariah Carey hands"…even if I am driving

11. I join far too many FaceBook groups and rarely visit them again

12. A bit of Gilbert and Sullivan never hurt anyone

13. Not enough people remember the "Banana Splits" and can sing the theme song

14. I find myself shouting in agreement when "Grumpy Old Men" or "Grumpy Old Women" are on TV (I am only in my 30's)

15. I like to eat porridge in the afternoon - any earlier in the day and I feel like a giant python that is trying to digest a chaise longue

16. You can expose the Monty Python fan in any group by asking the simple question "What have the Romans ever done for us?"

17. "Smiley Face" cupcakes or biscuits make me smile, no matter how badly my day is going

18. Although the 1950s was supposedly an era of 'curvy' women, most vintage dresses are size XS

19. My belongings acquire strange names; my pillow is called "George" and my pretty, cuddly blankie is "Audrey"

20. Located immediately below the 'small of my back' is the 'huge of my arse'

21. Good friends are worth their weight in Gold….. or Cadbury chocolate

22. Bad friends are worth their weight in possum wee….. or carob

23. I have spent far too many years trying to decide whether to get a tattoo - I should just shut up and get one already

24. This was, by far, the WORST year of Australian Idol

25. I would dearly love for Lilly Allen and Eminem to write a song together - the lyrics would be fantastic

26. The YouTube "Dramatic Hamster" still makes me laugh

27. Against all good sense, I love polka dots on clothing and shoes

28. Demetri Martin was right - you can make anything sound more than a little wrong by adding a creepy "ladies" at the end of any sentence

29. Some people's voices can actually soothe me to sleep

30. Too many comedians still seem to think that swearing on stage is a replacement for actual humour

31. Your mother is not always right

32. I love using far too many exclamation marks…and it doesn’t make me a bad person

33. Singers who have to lip synch ARE NOT PROPER SINGERS

34. It is incredibly difficult to remember to NOT burst into song (with Mariah Carey hands) in the office when you are listening to your iPod

35. One round of Brie + one packet of crackers + one Miranda = uh oh

36. I can drink a whole lot more champagne than I previously thought possible

37. No matter how much online content is going to be offered, I will ALWAYS love actual hard copy newspapers and books

38. I only use about 1% of the functions on my mobile phone

39. The only Nintendo, PS3 or Game Cube, etc, game I am any good at is "Super Mario Kart"

40. My Bucket List is getting longer and longer and longer

41. I always find it hard to remember what’s so bad about a "Split Infinitive"

42. Artificial Intelligence really is no match for Natural Stupidity

43. In my opinion, if Natural Selection is operating here, it really needs to get a LOT more selective

44. Sometimes, having too many choices is a bad thing

45. Life is messy - you just have to jump in and wrestle your way through it - whoever dies the most spotless is not necessarily the winner

46. I actually DO learn something new everyday – and it’s not just because I am incredibly stupid

47. Nobody will kick you as hard and for as long as you kick yourself

48. I can actually listen to the same song on loop for an entire day, without getting sick of it

49. I still want to join the circus

50. There will NEVER be enough time – get moving

 

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