My adopted Australian family and many friends can attest to the fact that I have a very well developed sense of – not only am I hilarious, I also am charmingly so, because I don’t brag about it (obviously).
A long, long time ago, somewhere in the faraway land of Mjelkborn. It is 6:17am on a Sunday morning. King Mortensen and his long term de-facto mistress Tindelheid are sound asleep in their turret.
‘It’s Rolf Harris’, someone shrieked, sounding like a kitten struggling to conceal that its voice was breaking just as some bastard stood on its tail and dropped cabbage on its head.
I had a conversation with my very Prussian grandmother when I was about 15 years old, during which she revealed to me that sometime in 1941 she discovered her father’s corpse in a field near their house.
My adopted Australian family and many friends can attest to the fact that I have a very well developed sense of – not only am I hilarious, I also am charmingly so, because I don’t brag about it (obviously).
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman in possession of a good ovary must be in want of a baby.
I used to own a striped hamster. It was grey with black stripes, and very small. I named it Boomie.
A long, long time ago, somewhere in the faraway land of Mjelkborn. It is 6:17am on a Sunday morning. King Mortensen and his long term de-facto mistress Tindelheid are sound asleep in their turret.
‘It’s Rolf Harris’, someone shrieked, sounding like a kitten struggling to conceal that its voice was breaking just as some bastard stood on its tail and dropped cabbage on its head. 
I had a conversation with my very Prussian grandmother when I was about 15 years old, during which she revealed to me that sometime in 1941 she discovered her father’s corpse in a field near their house.
This week I have learnt quite a few new words, such as whiplash, funny bone, doppler ultrasound and radial head fracture.
I have an extremely large left inferior parietal cortex.
Thou Shalt Burp on a Dairy Farm Instead
Late one night in the Turret of International Relationships in Elwood, the West Wing is on.
