Right kids, stop snogging, and pay attention! Here we are in August, the Tour De France is over (praise The Lord – Jane), St Kilda are still unbeaten (what? – Jane), Jeff Kennett hasn’t taken legal action against us, and we’ve got twenty-eight pages about children for you.

I listened to a lecture a long time ago about quantifying happiness; the lecturer pointed out how one talks about having had a wonderful, lovely day out shopping with one’s four year old, when in reality three and a half hours was taken up with “put that down, no you can’t have one, you should’ve gone before we left, you just said you didn’t want a drink, I said put that down!!”, but all one remembers is the ten minutes somewhere along the line where she looked up and said “I love you so much”.It is cool and lovely having kids, most of the time, but I think we’re all agreed that being one pretty much sucks. No independence, no freedom, less Wii than your friends, acne, bullies, stupid parents, stupider siblings, awful haircuts and embarrassing hand-knitted Nana jumpers.

So here it is, the Children Issue. With all the ranting in the following pages about kids, please try to remember what it’s like to be one, and, if you have some of your own, treat them well, and let them… be kids.

You may have noticed, if you’re online from time to time, that we’re attempting to go digital and way-cool right-on new media something or other. Following the advice of our digital guru, we now have a Twitter identity (@kingstribune) and are doing our best to follow interesting entities and build up a following of our own.

We have no idea what this all means or how it’s going to benefit us, but, hey, if we’re involved, it’s bound to benefit all of you. Look us up, follow us, re-tweet our stuff, and eventually, hopefully, something involving rivers of cash or a Time Machine will happen. The guru assures us that Twitter is the best thing since Web3.0, but we’re still trying to work out what happened to the good old slate and stylus, so we don't always understand the things he tells us.

By the way, if this is the first time you’ve seen The Tribune, welcome and where have we been all your life? Obviously not in the location you just picked up this copy, and there is a reason for this: August, in celebration of Gaius Julius Caesar Octavian Augustus, is a BIG MONTH for the Tribune. We’re distributing, possibly as a one-off, at locations we’ve never been to before. Hopefully no bus or tram-stop between Elwood and Prahran will be sans Tribune, at least for a day or two.

Given that our funds and shambolic lifestyle doesn't often lend itself to massive distribution, you may not see The Tribune here again for a long time, but fear not Gentle Reader, you can find us on Facebook, twitter, our own website (yes, we know, very 2008 but have a look anyway), and subscribe to our eZine (box on the left!! box on the left!!!). You’ll be first to read the latest poo stories, political gibberish, sports ranting, probably something about snakes (bloody won’t be - Jane) and whatever else our fearsome crew of contributors squirts through our web portal.

Not for you an inbox blocked with penis enlargement spam (interesting mental image) and offers of Nigerian millions, Oh no! Quality quality quality, nuts nuts nuts!!

Oh, one last internety thing. We’ve videoed Brad doing the cover art for this issue and, as soon as we work out how to get it out of the camera and into the editing thingy on the mac, we’ll throw it up on youtube for your viewing pleasure (check the website for links). It will be the first in a series of videos we’re doing about how the Tribune is put together. A fascinating insight into the making of a fab indie magazine or yet another youtube study in self indulgence? You decide.

Love to all who love us and a week in front of Home and Away tapes for everyone else.

Jane & Justin Shaw

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