Hopefully there will be hundreds of people picking this up who have never seen a copy of the Elwood Tribune before, but for all our regular readers, yes, as promised, we have finally picked up the Tribune and stumbled out of the bar, bleary eyed and squinting, to spread our own special brand of pointless rants and idiotic anecdotes across Elwood.

As usual, we have nothing of any great importance to say. We’re not political (although we publish the occasional political rant if it’s well written) and we have no particular soap box to stand on. We’re just providing some high quality low brow entertainment for all those folk out there whose laptop batteries have died or whose travelling internet connection thingummy is out of credit and have nothing else to do while doing laundry/having a coffee/trying to kill a hangover with carbohydrates.

Those can’t-be-arsed moments at work that we fill up with lolcats or www.ratemypoo.com (no? just us? Ok then...) are fine, but what is there to do when you don’t want to read about the idiocies of politicians or Britney Spears’ latest fanny baring escapades and you’ve still got half a coffee and muffin to finish? Women’s Issues magazines (anything from needlepoint to more bizarre ranting by Germaine) or ‘hobby’ publications for fanatically keen fishermen/engineers/xbox fans can only take you so far before the need to bite your own head off and spit it at passers-by becomes overwhelming.

Well, here you are folks, issue-free, celebrity-free, pointless reading, written by the people, for the people and completely free!! I am only amazed that no-one has thought of it before.

All our contributions are written/drawn/created by Elwood locals, who do it only for the fun of it (volunteerism is alive and well and a good thing too, coz we can’t afford to pay anyone for anything). We will accept submissions from anyone (except Catherine Deveny) and reserve all rights to edit, alter and discard as we see fit. Having said that, if you have something you want to contribute and want to experience the glory of seeing your name (or pseudonym) in print, send it to us by the 15th of the month and we’ll publish it in the next issue.

If your can’t-be-arsedness is too much for that, then just read, enjoy and tell all your friends!

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