Well, it’s been fun here at the offices of the Tribune, you mark our words. Jane’s been Rain-Manning her arse off building, losing, rebuilding, breaking and re-re-building the new website.

Justin, on the other hand, made it back to work for a whole week and a bit, before succumbing to the absolute joy of a migraine cluster, which, at time of writing, has lasted eight days, twelve Codis, Six Panadeine Forte and nine Imigran. There’s no such thing as an atheist with a migraine, believe me.

So, in view of both our attractiveness and slightly odd behaviour, the kids all went away on holiday without us, and since they got back they’ve been wondering who or what are the two smelly, grunting, swearing creatures on the couch, huddled over laptops and eating biscuits; and by the way, where are the dogs?

* * * *

So anyway.

If you didn’t laugh your arse off at Brad’s cover this month, you need to have a good hard look at yourself.

While you’re there, have a look at your body, and see how it shapes up. Are you happy with it? Are you trapped in the wrong one? Is it as good as your neighbour who always manages to expose just a little bit too much flesh when collecting the paper in the morning?

While you’re in that frame of mind, flick through this issue, and you’ll get all kinds of comment and opinion about bodies, and you might, just might, learn something. Because the chances are, you have an image in your mind about how your body looks and how someone else’s should look, and you’re most likely wrong.

Find the answers here…

* * * *

Have you been living in a cave? Can’t you read? We’ve changed our name again! And we’ve got a new website! Told you we could do it, didn’t we? So there. But why, you ask? Why no longer the Elwood Tribune?

Well, we’re glad you asked. As we said in the December issue, we have a plan, and we’re working to fulfil it.

Weirdly, given the history of our plans, this one appears to be working even better than we thought it would.

Yep, people love us. People outside Elwood love us. Even people in St Kilda were making a heroic effort to love us and ignore the exclusionary policies inherent in the name of the publication formerly known as…

With the love spreading far and wide, we decided to go with it and not exclude all those poor folk who can’t manage to squish themselves into our beloved Elwood.

So, in recognition of our roots (snerk), but also keeping it non-region-specific, we’re back to The King’s Tribune (for those of you who didn’t already know, The Tribune started life as a newsletter for the King of Tonga wine bar and was named for the place of its conception).

Never fear, we remain local, just local to a lot more people. So be part of the growth people, instead of whining about it like Steve E does.

Email everyone you know about our rockin’ new website, tell everyone about our fabulous writers and artists showcased therein, and enjoy the growth of this blisteringly fantastic local newspaper.

The more people see it, the more advertisers will come crashing through our door, and the more copies we can afford to get out there in the big wide world where they belong, bringing joy and merriment and the occasional “WTF?” to people everywhere.

Do not fear, dear readers, we’re not changing the content or the philosophy of the Trib (“Not afraid to be controversial, Not afraid to talk about poo”). We’re not turning into your local Leader real estate supplement, nor will we bow to whatever the hell it is that Fairfax bowed to, and become some lame-arse politically correct advertorial.

We are, and shall ever remain, yours in disrespectful ranting,

J&J Shaw

www.kingstribune.com

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