Wonk (noun) slang

1. a student who spends too much time studying and has little or no social life;

2. a stupid, boring or unattractive person

3. a person who studies a subject or issue in an excessively assiduous and thorough manner; a policy wonk

Ok, so given those meanings, an invitation to WonkDrinks may not sound like much fun. I’m too old for the first one, too adorable for the second and too much of a dedicated dilettante for the third. Nevertheless, when the invitation went out on Twitter, Justin and I put on our drinking boots and headed off to the wilds of North Melbourne to meet the glittering icons of the twitterati.

Apparently most of them were still recovering from the Grand Final that wasn’t and couldn’t make it, but we still met some lovely people. They were all very welcoming and didn’t seem to mind in the least about our lack of facial hair.

First Dog On The Moon was there, and, apart from falling over a chair and almost landing in his lap, I didn’t make an arse of myself at all. I managed to not gush too much or say “fuck” at inappropriate times, so I was quite pleased. For all those people who are not his new bestest friend and want to know what he is like, he truly is as adorable as he says he is. He has a proper wonk beard (of which I am now insanely jealous), he notices everything and he has lovely manners. Yes, I know that sounds a bit Martha Stewart, but when you are as socially inept as I am, it’s quite important that the person you are talking to has lovely manners.

We also finally met (IRL) the truly delectable @Fanny_Fair, who did tell me that her really name is not actually Fanny (disappointing) but the combination of vodka and excitement completely removed any ability I may once have had to remember things and be polite, so Fanny she remained. If we nag her enough, she said she might write something that will cause you all to fall deeply in love with Lady Gaga. As if you aren’t already. While you’re all gluing your arses to the edge of your seat in anticipation of that, and if you have any interest in vaginas or wit, you should absolutely follow her on twitter, it will change your world.

Scott Bridges and Malcolm Farnsworth, who are Proper Serious Journalists and write real things for institutions like Crikey and the ABC were also there, and I didn’t irritate them a lot, despite a vodka fuelled interrogation on what The Tribune needs to do to knock NewsLtd off its dungheap and take the publishing world by storm (stay tuned for The Tribune’s debut as a publisher of one very generous Proper Serious Journalist *excitement!!*).

We even met @fakefielding!! He has our children imprisoned in a Milo tin to prevent us from outing him, so I will say nothing more than this: he truly is a comic genius, and that he is plotting something fabulous to mark the actual Senator Steve’s passing (have we done enough happy dancing about that? I think so, but just in case *happy dance*).

There were many other people there, who were also bearded and lovely, but sadly we didn’t get to talk to them all. Or fall in their laps. That’s ok though, it gives us all something to look forward to for next time.

All in all, wonkdrinks was geekily fabulous. If you’re on twitter, if you’ve ever tweeted QandA, or if you have a beard (anything from incipient bum fluff to a full Mungo is acceptable) you should totally come and fall over chairs with us next time. It’s awesome.

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