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March 2012

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  • RT @melbwonkdrinks: Are you prepared for the Carbon Taxaggedon Countdown? 5pm June 30th, Great Northern Hotel #melbwonkdrinks
  • @kecane Yes, will be back in about 10 days. Hopefully. #scopecreep
  • A bomb goes off outside the PM's office, you're not really thinking "right, let's get to a holiday camp & look for a gunman".. #4corners
  • @NoPlaceforSheep nice juxtaposition !!!!
  • Can anyone think of anyone better than @janetribune for this? ABC Job: Want to be editor of @abcthedrum? http://t.co/LVjF8Beb
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Jane's Twitter

  • @GMegalogenis I'd be interested in your view on the value of twitter to journalists. You're using it well, what're you getting back from it?
  • Editorial meeting has been very productive so far. #whiteboard http://t.co/76eg9VQ4
  • @awelder Yes! And spreadsheets! We're all about the planning here.
  • @awelder @juzzytribune So I should take you off that list of people I want to write for me in the next 3 issues?
  • @miranda_maybe We love you red pen. It saves us from all kinds of embarrassment
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NotBarnabyJoyce

I’m very grateful to all the commenters on my blog, yes I am, goodness me look at all this DEBT did you know the Chinese are going to come in and repossess Australia, I mean we shouldn’t have been selling bits of BHP and stuff to the Chinese, it should have been sold to nice Australians like Rupert Murdoch and those South African guys and Oh My God, look at all this DEBT!

Tony gave me some words I have to say, so here goes: Big New Tax Oogety Boogety!! Now for some words of my own that I chose myself from some of the comments on my blog made by real patriotic Australians from the bush working family battlers who know about the dangers of globalism and dictators: Kevin Rudd’s a communist just like Osama I mean Obama what about Copenhagen it was really cold over there there’s no such thing as global warming and even if there is a Big New Tax Oogety Boogety won’t fix anything they’ll make you just have one little fridge you have to buy from China and they’ll take your plasma TV and replace it with one that watches you just like in Russia I hate communism and commas in fact all punctuation and sentence structure cause I’m not some lefty long haired elitist university type but I used to be accountant.

Last week one of my voters paid $48 for a slab of Carlton Draught thanks a lot Rudd you were supposed to help the working man this bloke just enjoys a beer at home he’s not out there bashing people in the street and doing drive-by shootings.

I am very disappointed to read a comment from one of my fans that me and the rest of the coalition are being hoodwinked by atheists and sodomites it can’t be true that Ian Plimer is an atheist that must have been another Ian Plimer that wrote that book about atheism I won’t stand for anti Christian people yelling even if there yelling things that I agree with the sodomite thing got me a bit confused though it referred to a “cereal homosexual” who they couldn’t name whose a big fan of Lord Monckton pretty sure he’s not a girly man I think I’ll ask Alan Jones if he knows who this person is and we can Wave The Flag together.

The science isn’t settled. If the science were settled, then Copernicus would be dead oh hang on he is dead he wouldn’t have been killed for the science if it was in which it isn’t I know this because someone with graphs told me yes you got it I’m stealing oxygen from Fielding that brave proud Australian senator damn I wasn’t meant to mention him I’m trying to capture the Moron Vote which lets face it is pretty big here in Australia just look at the comments on my blog I think that’s Andrew Bolt on the phone he wants his commenters back he needs another informed debate about Moslem stuff and multiculturalism and climate notchange.

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NotSteveFielding

Hello? Is it me your looking for? I’m over here, people! It’s me, Steve! Remember me I’m the guy who dressed up as a bottle because my PA told me to, and I went to Christmas Island but Santa wasn’t there nor was the baby Jesus, but it looked like Santa had been because there was a brand new Apple Mac there. No wonder people sell everything they have and leave the place they were born in and most of there family behind if they get such great things for free and then walk into Australia with a new Toyota and a plasma TV and big bags of cash and some of them haven’t even heard of the Baby Jesus.

It was very sad that when I got someone to “tweet” about this for me, all the nasty weirdos on Twitter just answered me with nasty words. They should have more respect for me cause I’m a Senator, my twitter name says so @senatorsteve and its also really not fair that there’s a @FakeFielding he says a lot of things that I would of said but there’s a lock on my computer in my office and they won’t let me use it unless their right there looking over my shoulder and showing me where the Any Key is. Someone told me Twitter was a great way to get my message out but last time I mentioned it at a Family First meeting over at Beryl’s (she makes scrummy lavingtons by the way but I should keep that quiet or the government will come and take them away and give them to the illegal asylum seekers to wash down with a nice glass of Chivas Riesling) everyone made the sign of the Cross and said Twitter was something to do with computers and so it must be all about anal sex and they laid hands on me to make sure I wasn’t having anal sex which was nice in a way. The laying on of hands, not anal sex, that causes bushfires and the earthquake in Haiti.

Well I have to go now, my dinner’s ready and tonight it’s my special Cutting Up My Own Chops Night I can’t wait, I hope Susan remembers that I like the Winnie The Pooh knife and spork.


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