Oh Rugby League, how do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways. No wait! Counting, you won't follow that. I'll just write them down. Oh, hang on, written word, same problem. Bugger it, I'll press on anyway.

Now I know I'm going to piss a lot of people off with this rant, but that's cool, you can write something nasty about cricket, or beer, or wearing ladies undies or something else that I like for the next issue to get me back. Anyway. Preliminaries done. Ranting commence.

Given the fanfare with which the Rugby League world cup was thrust upon us, it came as an amusing surprise to me that Australia, against all reasoned estimation, lost the bloody thing. Apparently this was, up until that point, not possible and the mere fact that the competition was being run at all only served to prove how nice we were to let anyone compete at all before sending them packing. Suffice to say, I was not up 'till dawn in mourning.

Now I'm not actually pleased we lost, don't get me wrong, just amused at what happened next. Ricky Stuart, the Aussie coach decides that no, the Aussie team wasn't outplayed, the ref's had it in for us and deliberately cost us the world cup. If I may, “What the Fuck?” The Kiwi's nearly doubled our score, and unless the refs actually physically picked up the ball and started playing for them, I reckon it was probably the best side that won on the night. But no, you go Ricky, take the moral high ground. Don't think! Accuse! Those bastard pricks. They hate us.............Couldn't imagine why.

For me it's the latest in a long line of boneheaddedry that characterises the game of Rugby League. Now, not to over generalise, but my there seems to be some thick bastards who play the game. Every time one is interviewed I'm left in amused bewilderment that they can manage to speak for a whole minute using the same four mono-syllabic words. “So Biff, how did you think the team played today?” “Uh, yeah, the boys, done good, y'know, 'n the club's good 'n the boys done a good job 'n stuff 'n yeah.” Now, this in itself wouldn't be so bad, if it were confined to the odd post match interview. But it's not. It seems that anytime two or more of the players get together off field something's gonna get broken, pissed on, punched or groped. Then we have to witness the tragic spectacle of the poor bastard trying to sound intelligent in the post incident press conference apology. “Um, yeah 'n sorry I let down the club 'n the boys, 'n stuff 'n I'm sorry for my ash'ns 'n stuff, 'n hope the club 'n the boys 'n stuff wool let me back in the side 'n yeah.”

Mind you it's not all the players fault. I think there's some level of responsibility that needs to be introduced into the thinking of the games administrators. I mean really, what is going to happen when you take a kid aged somewhere between 16 and 21, tell him he's unreal because he can play the game well, give him hundreds of thousands of dollars, make him famous and then turn him loose on the streets? Bloody Hell! Did no-one watch what happened to Britney? To then turn around and worry that there may be a drinking culture in the club makes me laugh. What to do? I don't know. Maybe don't be sponsored by Four X.

The complete lack of sportsmanship shown therefore by the Australian coach following the loss of the world cup didn't come as much of a surprise then. Being that it was completely self centred, narrow-minded and over-simplistic. Seemed like an appropriate metaphor for the game in general.

So what have I done. I've delivered a diatribe on why Rugby League is shit using a bunch of arguments that would make an equally strong case against AFL, which I love. So what's the difference? Buggered if I know. Our Footy Show's better?

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