PETA.  I have heard that this estimable (excremental) organisation are calling for a ban on all animal sourced products, starting with wool from sheep, alpaca, and all the other animals whose fleece has stopped humans freezing to death for millennia.

PETA have even included in their stance those slightly odd home knitters who spin thread from the dog hair found in their vacuum bags. This does seem a little extreme, even for a group of, let’s face it, mainly American nutters.

So what alternative do these people propose? Well, they suggest that all clothing should be made from synthetic materials. Do they actually realise that synthetics are made from oil? What happens when the oil is gone? Spencer Tunick will have to come up with a new gimmick, for one, as we’ll all be naked.

What about cotton, the second most water and chemical intensive crop ever grown? Maybe hemp, if the Right and the Bible Belt can be silenced - and there’s as much chance of that as there is of Sharon Stone making her own clothes.

Do they not realise that sheep have been bred for hundreds of years to maximise wool growth, and that, not being shorn at regular intervals, they will die most uncomfortable deaths from overheating and their legs will no longer reach the ground due to the fact that they will be rather large wool balls.

Maybe these ultra vegans would like to donate their woolly thoughts to keep us warm..

WOOLNUT

The Tribune remains committed to the position that Vegetarianism is an eating disorder, and Veganism is sociopathy - Ed.

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