Editors’ Rant - Feb 2012
- February, 2012 ![]() If you’re a Tribune fan (and we guess you must be since you’re reading this and if you’re not reading this then we... |
Preface to a Counter Protest
- February, 2012 ![]() Defence of the Fertility Control Clinic The front gate of the Fertility Control Clinic in East Melbourne is a frontline of... |
I’m not a climate scientist but...
- February, 2012 ![]() Anyone who’s ever been in a car with children will know that when they’re not crying, pulling each other’s hair or... |
What We Talk About When We Talk About Socialism
- February, 2012 ![]() The taxi driver in Maui picked the accent straight away. “Look out!” he said. “The Aussies are here!” Turns out he used to... |
Science
- February, 2012 ![]() First of all, let me make it very clear: I do not have a problem with science. Secondly, let me make it even clearer: I... |
Intelligent Design - It's NOT Science
- February, 2012 ![]() Perhaps I should preface this article with “I’m not a scientist, but…”. A long time ago, people used to believe that it... |
Getting Rid of the Ute
- February, 2012 ![]() I never used to drive my car. It sat outside my house, different random parts either rusting or drying out depending on... |
Why I Can’t Get Behind Soften The Fck Up
- February, 2012 Soften The Fck Up is an initiative aimed at breaking down the “tough Aussie bloke” façade and getting men to open up to... |
Weddings
- February, 2012 ![]() In the last six weeks of 2011, I attended six weddings. Week after week I found myself donning a suit to spend the day... |
On SOPA
- February, 2012 ![]() I imagine most of you reading this have a blog or your own little website, a place where you’ve invested time and energy... |
A History Of Stupidity
- February, 2012 ![]() In 1796 a very special and very dangerous kind of idiot was born. Smallpox was running rampant throughout Europe until a... |
Gaming is for Grown Ups
- February, 2012 ![]() As a full-time technology journalist who has specialised in the critiquing of video games for over a decade, you’d be... |
Simulation
- February, 2012 ![]() Oh yes, I’m the great pretender |
Nigella, The Antechinus Family, And The West’s...
- February, 2012 ![]() I used to love watching acclaimed kitchen goddess, the luscious Nigella Lawson, when she first appeared on the small... |
Political Affiliation
- February, 2012 ![]() Some people hold political affiliations with an almost religious fervour. Their political beliefs shape everything, from... |
Lessons from A Caravan Park
- February, 2012 ![]() Most of us have memories of staying in a caravan park. Whether it was as kids, parents, schoolies or backpackers, the... |
Resurrecting the Hors d’Œuvre Course
- February, 2012 ![]() An hors d’œuvre course to the French, like antipasto to the Italians, is the start of the midday meal. Individual, small,... |
Wine Online
- February, 2012 Wine retailing, like the rest of the retailing world, is going through a bit of a seismic shift from bricks & mortar to... |
Cryptic Crossword - Feb12
- February, 2012 As always, first correctly completed cryptic crossword sent to |
Political Affiliation
- February, 2012 ![]() Some people hold political affiliations with an almost religious fervour. Their political beliefs shape everything, from... |
Preface to a Counter Protest
- February, 2012 ![]() Defence of the Fertility Control Clinic The front gate of the Fertility Control Clinic in East Melbourne is a frontline of... |
On SOPA
- February, 2012 ![]() I imagine most of you reading this have a blog or your own little website, a place where you’ve invested time and energy... |
Australia’s School Funding Quagmire
- January, 2012 ![]() Australia has one of the most complex, inconsistent and opaque school funding arrangements in the developed world. You... |
What We Talk About When We Talk About Socialism
- February, 2012 ![]() The taxi driver in Maui picked the accent straight away. “Look out!” he said. “The Aussies are here!” Turns out he used to... |
I Have A Question And My Question Is This:
- January, 2012 ![]() Who the fuck am I meant to vote for at the next Federal election? This is not a rhetorical question. I really want to... |
Lessons from A Caravan Park
- February, 2012 Most of us have memories of staying in a caravan park. Whether it was as kids, parents, schoolies or backpackers, the... |
A Conspiracy Of Feathered Simpletons
- January, 2012 And then, of course, there’s the question of the evolutionary future of pigeons. A while ago, through a series of... |
Weddings
- February, 2012 In the last six weeks of 2011, I attended six weddings. Week after week I found myself donning a suit to spend the day... |
Thank You, Batman
- October, 2011 Time is a mighty river, and I am an ominously unpiloted rental kayak floating past the picnic area. It’s my first day at a... |
Science
- February, 2012 First of all, let me make it very clear: I do not have a problem with science. Secondly, let me make it even clearer: I... |
From Swords to Soundbites - HENRY I
- October, 2011 King Henry I of England, known to later generations as Henry Beauclerc, the Lion Of Justice, succeeded his flamboyant... |
Simulation
- February, 2012 Oh yes, I’m the great pretender |
On SOPA
- February, 2012 I imagine most of you reading this have a blog or your own little website, a place where you’ve invested time and energy... |
Gaming is for Grown Ups
- February, 2012 As a full-time technology journalist who has specialised in the critiquing of video games for over a decade, you’d be... |
Why I Can’t Get Behind Soften The Fck Up
- February, 2012 Soften The Fck Up is an initiative aimed at breaking down the “tough Aussie bloke” façade and getting men to open up to... |
A History Of Stupidity
- February, 2012 In 1796 a very special and very dangerous kind of idiot was born. Smallpox was running rampant throughout Europe until a... |
Credentials & Democratic Decline
- October, 2011 ‘People should be aware of what’s out there. And not believe what they read just because it’s written.’ Astro-turf... |
Flags and Republicans and Ray.
So, last week we had our National Day of celebration (or invasion if you are Aboriginal) and once again we’ve had an extra long weekend of bogons running around in Southern Cross / Australian flag inspired apparel along with what is becoming an almost annual debate regarding said flag (and yes I know I have a Southern Cross tattoo but that doesn’t necessarily make me an immediate candidate for bogan fuckwit status.....just means I have a soft spot for my country and I like tattoos).
The debate was brought up this time around by that paragon of conservative ‘journalism’, Ray Martin. Not by anyone that Australian Republican supporters might think of adopting as their next spokesperson.....Ray Fucking Martin!
On the other side of the debate you have the Right, the Middle Right and Abbot, sorry, I mean the Loony Far Right (the last of which only seem to get hard on’s while the Queen is on television). According to this esteemed group of people, along with some of those on the Left, the current flag has been the cause of the countless military lives lost in the short history of our nation. Time and time again I’ve heard the phrase ‘died for the flag’. Just the one flag? Or all of them, because the flag is on everything these days so maybe the cost of all those deaths is being diluted by every new piece of merchandise created with a flag motif.
To paraphrase and once again plagiarise William Melvin Hicks, NO-ONE has ever died for a flag, they have died for a cause.....in most cases, from our point of view, the cause of freedom. A flag is a piece of cloth and I’ll admit mine is more than likely a product of China than Australia. I’m the son of a former Australian Serviceman and while he and I don’t see eye to eye on fairly much any topic any of you could imagine, we do agree that the flag is but a symbol. Symbols evolve over time.
We have been an independent, self-governing nation for more than 100 years yet we still can’t seem to stop clutching to that apron. The nostalgic and jingoistic notion that a piece of cloth has something to do with our veneration of those who have gone before us is actually quite insulting. To suggest that I, for one, would have any less reverence for my forbearers if our flag was changed is at best misguided and at worst abhorrent.
Don’t get me wrong here. I like our flag. I own one which I’ve taken with me to wave around after every boundary scored or wicket taken when I go to see Australia play cricket. It accompanied me while I was living in The Netherlands and was always hanging in my room as a reminder of home. When I was travelling I had little Aussie flags sewn onto both of my backpacks just like people from almost any Western country do when they are backpacking around the planet. Funnily enough I actually bought those little flags in Amsterdam and attached them there rather than buying them in Australia before I left. This doesn’t mean that I am resistant to change though. Maybe it means I’ll have some sewing to do to attach new flags to the dusty old backpacks but I don’t think I’d remove the old ones.
It is possible I’m being a little elementary in describing this issue because it is one that many feel strong emotions about while I’m, I guess, more pragmatic about it. Life would go on and eventually no one would remember living with a previous national symbol besides learning about it on the History Channel.....because the Deity knows that no one learns anything in our schools anymore.
Removing the Union Jack would also eliminate one of the Barmy Army’s songs they continually sing to us at the cricket, although I’m not sure limiting the song range of The Barmy is a good thing. The way things are going with my beloved sport The Barmy is one of the last entertaining things left in the game.
I like the fact that the Republic debate is back in the public spectrum (while not having any love at all for the person who raised it at this time) and I hope it can be seriously discussed this time around so people actually get a real idea of what it would mean if our nation was to traverse this path. And for the record it doesn’t mean we would be kicked out of the Commonwealth and not be able to attend the quad-annual sporting fest where we kick everyone’s arse.....India and South Africa are still invited aren’t they? Anyone who remembers the previous time this issue was debated and went to referendum would (hopefully) realise the entire process was high jacked by the Monarchist side of the argument and they ensured that it would never succeed.
That said, I am digressing, as flag and national governance are two separate issues. We do not have to become a Republic to change the flag. In fact, we don’t even require a referendum, regardless of the Flags Act that our Parliament approved in 1998. The reason I digress though, is the public perception that the two issues go hand in hand. The public response seems to come in two separate group when these issues are raised. One is good old Australian apathy and the other is vehement rejection and shouts of treason. There doesn’t seem to be a middle ground.
Serious dialogue without emotional response is what is required. If the majority of Australians want change then they need a genuine forum to discuss this. It’s a trait of Australians to not get involved and to keep quiet, but maybe Ray might coerce some vocalisation from those who usually keep quiet so we can have a public discussion about these two issues that have been festering away privately for so long.
As a last word that, I hope, will help point out the ridiculous rhetoric that occurs during any debate about flags. I give you a short excerpt from a Bill Hicks performance a few years back:
Random Redneck: ‘Hey buddy, my dad died for that flag’
Bill: ‘Really? I bought mine. They sell 'em in K-Mart...’
RR: ‘Yeah. He died in Korea for that flag’
Bill: ‘Wow, what a coincidence. Mine was made in Korea... the world is THAT big man!’
Make your own decision. Don’t let emotive or nostalgic arguments cloud your final judgement. And don’t let any opinion you’ve found in the previous paragraphs do that either because this author is still undecided.
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