You know those people, (usually celebrities), that you’ve never met but still hold in high regard. For my money, Bruce Willis is one. Bruce is the epitome of cool. It seems that he would be as comfortable having a beer in the dingiest of pubs as he would walking the red carpet of a Hollywood blockbuster premiere. I have never seen or read an interview that left me thinking he was a bit of a tool. The way he handled his and Demi’s divorce and her subsequent marriage to Ashton Kutcher left me in awe; safe to say that I had a bit of a man crush.
Reading Jane’s article today I was reminded of an interview I read with Patricia Heaton. (Don’t ask me why it reminded me of the interview with Patricia Heaton, my brain works in mysterious ways.) I always had a thing for Patricia Heaton when she was on Raymond. Mature age dame that always looked the business. I have read other interviews with her and knew that she had had plastic surgery, just enough to cure some wrinkles and other slight imperfections. I’m not a fan of plastic surgery unless it’s used to fix things like dog attacks, car accidents and machete wounds but, hey, each to their own. Whatever, I still liked Patricia Heaton.
So, I was reading this interview where she was talking about her new show, The Middle with The Janitor from Scrubs, and she started talking about her plastic surgery again. Okay, I’m still in. She then dropped the ‘G’ bomb and I’m glazing over. She didn’t just mention God like our black ‘homies’ do. You know, “I’d like to thank God for giving me more talent than you”. No, she was into ‘it’, talking about spreading the word of God to everyone and everything. I no longer liked Patricia Heaton.
There are other actors I have lost respect for because of religion, Jason Lee for instance. He may have been a pro-skater, played Brodie in Mallrats and named his kid Pilot Inspektor but Lee has fallen into the clutches of Scientology, along with bum brothers Tom Cruise and John Travolta. Scientology, to me, is the worst of the worst of religions that even comes with a built-in GST. How holy you are depends on how your bank balance looks.
Religion has been tackled more than once by the Tribune but I just can’t stay away, and neither, it seems, can religion. Can we make this clear? Man has always created his own Gods. They were first used to describe the workings of the Universe, eg. Ra, in his flaming chariot moves across the sky during the day to explain the Sun. Sometime in the past, about 400 BC, God cancelled his/her outsourcing policy and took back control of everything, at least that’s the way we who have been brought up in the Judeo-Christian system were led to believe. Maybe Telstra and Optus could have a look at this; although I don’t know how well it’s worked out for God.
Religion has been used to explain to people why their beloved ones died early, “They’ve been taken to a better place.” Why heaven would be so much better than being with their family and loved ones has never been sufficiently explained to me but there we are. It has essentially been used to explain every mystery in the universe until recently.
Why is it that we are now able to witness the birth of new stars and the death of old ones yet never have we come across anything which proves that God exists? Surely by now even the old boy would be thinking, “They may just need a sign.” We now live in an age where unless you can hold it, touch it and taste it it’s just not real. Most religious types will now, at this point, trot out the old faith argument and that you just gotta have it.
I’m sorry, I don’t have it. If I did want to believe that a fictional character from a book controlled the universe and everything I’d probably go with Terry Pratchett’s Rincewind. The universe seems just like the sort of mess that only he and his librarian mate could come up with. We are still told, however, that God has a plan. Good on him/her, maybe though, if he/she wanted the plan to come to fruition, he/she should let someone in on it.
Now, back to Patricia Heaton for a second; I couldn’t help but wonder what God would think of Patricia’s journeys under the medical knife. Surely if you believed that deeply in God wouldn’t you be prepared to let yourself age gradually and gracefully, a la Helen Mirren? Wouldn’t plastic surgery be an affront to God’s handiwork when he/she created you? Or do these people justify it with some crackpot phrase like, God gave us plastic surgery so it’s a sin not to use it?
Ahhhh, no. See, man created plastic surgery to fix all the things that ‘God’s plan’ had done to people. (See aforementioned dog attacks and so on.) Man then saw the potential in creating insecurity in people so that they could use plastic surgery to make themselves more betterer.
What I keep asking myself is why the hell religion has hung around for so long? Is it that ingrained in our psyche that we have to believe or feel guilty if we don’t? Why do we have to go to a place on Sunday to feel closer to him/her? Why can’t God just fade away like other horrible fads, you know, men’s skinny jeans, fluorescent colour clothing, leg warmers and ugg boots.......ummm……wait.
!joomlacomment 4.0 Copyright (C) 2009 Compojoom.com . All rights reserved."
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|



Election time! Which means every media hound in the country is straining at the leash like a corgi in heat. Here at the Tribune, we’ve decided that there’s very little point...
There is very little in sport that has made me happy lately. And it may surprise you to know that, from time to time, I like being happy. And I miss...
I’m a rampant media consumer, way too much of the time I should spend being productive I am instead wandering around the internet reading about stuff. Politics and religion and sex...
Another storm in a media teacup ysterday. Jason Akermanis, who doesn’t appear to hate publicity, wrote a column in the Herald Sun, who also don’t appear to hate courting controversy, saying...
I'm no journo, but this much I know: newspapers come in two types, broadsheets and tabloids. Generally, broadsheets have produce higher quality reporting than tabloids, which tend toward more sensationalism and...
There is a point in everyone’s almanac where they admit defeat on summer’s behalf and embrace winter. The scarves and jackets are retrieved from the cupboard above the wardrobe, and the...
The people from the internet have been wailing and hand wringing about how all the recent earthquakes were caused by Mother Earth being all mad and getting her revenge on.Most of...
Ok, I know I’m a little late coming to the WTF party on this, but let’s overlook that and just embrace the fact that I’m almost 40 and I still bothered...
Well I’m so grateful to Fremantle for showing me the error of my ways.Having advised you to Never Ever Tip Freo, they’re unbeaten after three rounds, achieving their last over the...
It’s been an interesting week in the whirligig of fun that constitutes my understanding of feminism. Tony Abbott came out in favour of paid maternity leave! I get that he’s chasing...
No matter how hard Kevin Rudd tries to lose the next election, the Coalition keep handing him big plates of gold. Abbott admitted to being, effectively, a compulsive liar. Joe Hockey...
Wow hasn’t sexuality and in particular which side of the fence you are on become a hot topic of late! First up, on my right, we have the thinking man’s meathead,...
I’m a right-wing, red-wine-guzzling carnivore. I have even been known, after guzzling a few red wines, to rant about how vegetarianism is an eating disorder. So writing about the evils of...
There’s a great deal of debate going on right now over mandatory internet filtering, or the “Clean Feed” proposed recently by our PM, Mr Illustrious KRudd.I’ve been happily coughing curse words...
The weather’s cold and pissy. So is Wife, because, cheap horrible cruel bastard that I am, I won’t tolerate the thermostat being set to “the heart of the sun”, instead suggesting...
The Bushfires Royal Commission has heard final submissions and will deliver its final report to the Governor on July 31. Should the Commissioners accept the thrust of what Counsel Assisting, Jack...
Dave Graney isn’t a musician that you like, or love, or even get. Dave, you can only dig, and I really dig the Dave. From the first time I heard his...
I’m fairly sure I’ve said it before, but for anyone who had more interesting things to read that day, I’ll say it again. I’m a right wing (small L) liberal. I...
No, this is not a short history of all the arses I have known. Firstly, that wouldn’t be short, and secondly, I don’t like having bricks thrown through my window. This...
There’s Cat. I could chase her. I really should chase her, but there are no humans around to suck up to. So I’m looking at Cat, and she’s looking back at...
So, everyone familiar with the Tribune will notice that we are now printing in colour. Doesn’t it look lovely? Notice the colour artwork people, appreciate it, maybe even sniff it a...
I have recently come to the conclusion that having too many options can be a bad thing. As I sit here, a blustery and rainy Melbourne day thrashing about outside, I...
Well we survived the Christmas dinner with my appalling in-laws. Just after we’d finished making jokes about how much fun it was going to be doing it next year with my...








