header_left

follow us on twitter follow the kings tribune
find us on facebook

The Kings Tribune

The King's Tribune - February 2012

Editors’ Rant - Feb 2012
Jane and Justin Shaw - February, 2012
jane shaw

If you’re a Tribune fan (and we guess you must be since you’re reading this and if you’re not reading this then we...

Preface to a Counter Protest
Torrey Orton - February, 2012
abortion protest

Defence of the Fertility Control Clinic

The front gate of the Fertility Control Clinic in East Melbourne is a frontline of...

I’m not a climate scientist but...
Jane Shaw - February, 2012
climate scientist

Anyone who’s ever been in a car with children will know that when they’re not crying, pulling each other’s hair or...

What We Talk About When We Talk About Socialism
Tim Dunlop - February, 2012
socialism

The taxi driver in Maui picked the accent straight away.

“Look out!” he said. “The Aussies are here!”

Turns out he used to...

Science
Ben Pobjie - February, 2012
science

First of all, let me make it very clear: I do not have a problem with science. Secondly, let me make it even clearer: I...

Intelligent Design - It's NOT Science
Justin Shaw - February, 2012
darwin

Perhaps I should preface this article with “I’m not a scientist, but…”.

A long time ago, people used to believe that it...

Getting Rid of the Ute
Jo Thornely - February, 2012
uterus

I never used to drive my car. It sat outside my house, different random parts either rusting or drying out depending on...

Why I Can’t Get Behind Soften The Fck Up
Bill Street - February, 2012
soften the fck up

Soften The Fck Up is an initiative aimed at breaking down the “tough Aussie bloke” façade and getting men to open up to...

Weddings
Dominic Knight - February, 2012
weddings

In the last six weeks of 2011, I attended six weddings. Week after week I found myself donning a suit to spend the day...

On SOPA
Dan Nolan - February, 2012
stop SOPA

I imagine most of you reading this have a blog or your own little website, a place where you’ve invested time and energy...

A History Of Stupidity
Adam vanLangenberg - February, 2012
vaccination

In 1796 a very special and very dangerous kind of idiot was born.

Smallpox was running rampant throughout Europe until a...

Gaming is for Grown Ups
Bennett Ring - February, 2012
gaming

As a full-time technology journalist who has specialised in the critiquing of video games for over a decade, you’d be...

Simulation
Thomas Cummings - February, 2012
gambling

Oh yes, I’m the great pretender
Adrift in a world of my own
I play the game but to my real shame
You’ve left me to...

Nigella, The Antechinus Family, And The West’s...
Dr Jennifer Wilson - February, 2012
nigella

I used to love watching acclaimed kitchen goddess, the luscious Nigella Lawson, when she first appeared on the small...

Political Affiliation
Andrew Tiedt - February, 2012
bolt

Some people hold political affiliations with an almost religious fervour.

Their political beliefs shape everything, from...

Lessons from A Caravan Park
Dave Gaukroger - February, 2012
caravan park

Most of us have memories of staying in a caravan park. Whether it was as kids, parents, schoolies or backpackers, the...

Resurrecting the Hors d’Œuvre Course
Sunday Relish - February, 2012
hors doeuvre

An hors d’œuvre course to the French, like antipasto to the Italians, is the start of the midday meal. Individual, small,...

Wine Online
Duncan Wilcox - February, 2012
El Wino

Wine retailing, like the rest of the retailing world, is going through a bit of a seismic shift from bricks & mortar to...

Cryptic Crossword - Feb12
{ga=admin} - February, 2012

As always, first correctly completed cryptic crossword sent to

In a Better World - Feb 2012
Alex Hallatt - February, 2012
Alex Hallatt


+ 0
+ 0

Politics

Political Affiliation
Andrew Tiedt - February, 2012
bolt

Some people hold political affiliations with an almost religious fervour.

Their political beliefs shape everything, from...

Preface to a Counter Protest
Torrey Orton - February, 2012
abortion protest

Defence of the Fertility Control Clinic

The front gate of the Fertility Control Clinic in East Melbourne is a frontline of...

On SOPA
Dan Nolan - February, 2012
stop SOPA

I imagine most of you reading this have a blog or your own little website, a place where you’ve invested time and energy...

Australia’s School Funding Quagmire
Bronwyn Hinz - January, 2012
school funding

Australia has one of the most complex, inconsistent and opaque school funding arrangements in the developed world. You...

What We Talk About When We Talk About Socialism
Tim Dunlop - February, 2012
socialism

The taxi driver in Maui picked the accent straight away.

“Look out!” he said. “The Aussies are here!”

Turns out he used to...

I Have A Question And My Question Is This:
Tim Dunlop - January, 2012
gillard abbott

Who the fuck am I meant to vote for at the next Federal election? This is not a rhetorical question. I really want to...

More POLITICS

Anecdotage

Lessons from A Caravan Park
Dave Gaukroger - February, 2012
caravan park

Most of us have memories of staying in a caravan park. Whether it was as kids, parents, schoolies or backpackers, the...

A Conspiracy Of Feathered Simpletons
Mat Larkin - January, 2012
editorial consultant

And then, of course, there’s the question of the evolutionary future of pigeons.

A while ago, through a series of...

Weddings
Dominic Knight - February, 2012
weddings

In the last six weeks of 2011, I attended six weddings. Week after week I found myself donning a suit to spend the day...

Thank You, Batman
Mat Larkin - October, 2011
batman

Time is a mighty river, and I am an ominously unpiloted rental kayak floating past the picnic area.

It’s my first day at a...

Science
Ben Pobjie - February, 2012
science

First of all, let me make it very clear: I do not have a problem with science. Secondly, let me make it even clearer: I...

From Swords to Soundbites - HENRY I
Jane Shaw - October, 2011
bayeux

King Henry I of England, known to later generations as Henry Beauclerc, the Lion Of Justice, succeeded his flamboyant...

More ANECDOTAGE

Media

Simulation
Thomas Cummings - February, 2012
gambling

Oh yes, I’m the great pretender
Adrift in a world of my own
I play the game but to my real shame
You’ve left me to...

On SOPA
Dan Nolan - February, 2012
stop SOPA

I imagine most of you reading this have a blog or your own little website, a place where you’ve invested time and energy...

Gaming is for Grown Ups
Bennett Ring - February, 2012
gaming

As a full-time technology journalist who has specialised in the critiquing of video games for over a decade, you’d be...

Why I Can’t Get Behind Soften The Fck Up
Bill Street - February, 2012
soften the fck up

Soften The Fck Up is an initiative aimed at breaking down the “tough Aussie bloke” façade and getting men to open up to...

A History Of Stupidity
Adam vanLangenberg - February, 2012
vaccination

In 1796 a very special and very dangerous kind of idiot was born.

Smallpox was running rampant throughout Europe until a...

Credentials & Democratic Decline
Leslie Cannold - October, 2011
credentials

‘People should be aware of what’s out there. And not believe what they read just because it’s written.’

Astro-turf...

More MEDIA

 



The Honeymoon Is Over

trainsIf indeed it ever started for Metro Rail. The results for the past month are in and there is no improvement in the Connex run system. Funny that. I thought new stickers would fix everything.

By now Metro Rail must have heads in hands wondering what the hell they’ve got themselves into. The one day heat wave has again caused havoc with services with some lines stopping completely, even after that nice John Brumby man promised it would never happen again.

Justin has already pointed out in a previous article that Melbourne’s public transport system doesn’t work. In a brief conversation I had with a former full-time, now part-time Transport Ticketing Authority consultant, I was told that Melbourne’s train lines are now beyond ‘maintenance’. Think about that for a moment. The system is now so damaged that it cannot be repaired; it must be completely removed and laid down again.

This is not the fault of the current Labor Government. It is even not the fault of the previous Liberal Government. This is basically a problem which goes back to the times the train lines were first installed. Maintenance work has been neglected from the beginning, and we’re now paying the price. It’s going to be a strong Government that tells us all trains are to be replaced by buses and we’re starting again.

Metro Rail are no dummies. They run the Hong Kong system and know how to make trains work. I think however, that they may find Melbourne’s network a different kettle of fish, particularly now that the Government has decided to throw MYKI into the mix.

It was always going to be a big ask for a new operator to come in and fix our transport mess. As far as I can work out scheduling and day to day operations is the precinct of the operator, infrastructure is and always should be the responsibility of the Government of the day. The time for blame shifting and finger pointing is over, just fix it.

And now….onto MYKI. There is still a massive question as to why the Labor Government felt that they had to re-invent the wheel here. There was already a system developed by an Australian company and used extensively in Western Australia AND Hong Kong. MYKI spokespeople have said that, because of Melbourne’s ‘unique’ public transport system, they had to take a ‘ground-up’ approach.

Firstly, of course the spokespeople are going to say that, they are, after all, in the employ of the people responsible for hoisting what is potentially the biggest of white elephants onto the Victorian people. This is a new ticketing system that is three years late and hundreds of millions of dollars over budget (although I’m told that the $1.35 billion total also includes running costs for five years).

Secondly, what is unique about our transport system? It includes trains, buses and trams. The Hong Kong system includes trains, buses, trams, monorails, ferries and the users can use their little plastic card to buy milk, bread and other items from their local 7-11. Surely this ticketing system (developed by an Australian company) could adequately cope with Melbourne’s train set?

MYKI statements today included the ripper that 60,000 people have signed up for their ‘Free’ MYKI card and obviously this means that they are keen to embrace MYKI. Ummmm, noooo, people just don’t want to have to pay the fee for the MYKI card down the track. You would think that, with all the money the Victorian taxpayer has spent on this system, that free cards would be a given. Alas no, this is not the case and Kamco/MYKI have seen another way to gouge money out of Victorians. I would like to know how many people have actually chosen to ‘top-up’ their accounts with ‘MYKI money’.

Another thing, MYKI have already issued a statement that says that they will be selling our information to other companies. So why the hell would I be willing to provide my bank account details so that I can obtain a wonder card? The new system also means that the Government can track your movements on the public transport systems. Where are the Civil Libertarians when you actually need them? Stop protesting the treatment of criminals and actually grab onto something that infringes on the rights of all Victorians

Given the insane amounts of money this is costing, I hope I’m wrong, but I have a feeling that MYKI will be yet another unmitigated disaster. I won’t be using it, but then again I don’t use public transport so other than the fact that I am being forced to help fund it, MYKI doesn’t actually affect me at all.

On the brighter side, I figure that if no-one uses it the Government will have no option but to scrap it. Stand up people, if the system doesn’t work, don’t use it. It will give the Government little choice but to find an alternative.

Election in November, election in November, election in November….


+ 1
+ 1

THE SHOUT

Why We Turned The Comments Off
Jane Shaw - February, 2012
comments

The inestimable Tim Dunlop and I were having coffee together a few months back and discussing internet trolls, the...

Private Brutality and the Police
Jane Shaw - November, 2011
victoria police

There's been a bit of screeching in the blogosphere about police brutality at the OccupyMelbourne protests. It's not...

A Day In Life
Jane Shaw - November, 2011
hilary clinton

3:47am: Sit bolt upright in bed groping around for bellows. Stare around darkened bedroom trying to work out why am not...

Boats Under The Beds
Jane Shaw - November, 2011
octopus

"Politics hates a vacuum. If it isn't filled with hope, someone will fill it with fear."
Naomi Klein

Australians are...

Pokies Industry is Tekken Ur Jurbs
Jane Shaw - October, 2011
reform cost jobs

Ever since the vagaries of politics put Andrew Wilkie into a position where he could insist on gambling reforms, Clubs...

The Tribune on RRR Breakfasters
Jane Shaw - October, 2011
RRR Breakfasters

Popped my being-on-the-radio cherry this morning, with the help of the RRR Breakfasters.

As you can tell from the shaky...

News Ltd v Julia Gillard
Fake Paul Keating - August, 2011
john hartigan big harto

The slapfest is ON.

It started on Monday. Glenn Milne rehashed some old rumours about Prime Minister Julia Gillard that...

Choice between motherhood and career got a little easier...
Jane Shaw - August, 2011
samantha maiden

I went to the Melbourne Writers Festival panel on political journalism this morning, because if Lindsay Tanner, Samantha...

News Flash
Justin Shaw - August, 2011
london riots

News Flash, folks: there are shitheads in the world. Some of them are rich, some of them are poor, they come from every...

What's happened to The Tribune?
Jane and Justin Shaw - July, 2011

Some of you may have noticed that things have been quiet here at Casa Del Tribune lately. Too quiet.

About June this year...

Send Lawyers, Guns And Money
Justin Shaw - July, 2011
rupert murdoch

After about an hour of the Murdochs' committee appearance the other night I was just about ready to stick knitting...

Internet Killed The Rebellious Youth Star
Barclay White - July, 2011
kerry ann planking

If ever I need proof that each generation is softer than the last I think of this: When my grandfather was my age he was...

Musings From The Motor Show
Skoeman - July, 2011
MelbMotorShow

The Australian International Motor Show has returned to Melbourne this year.

I love the Motor Show, for it brings all the...

None of this should be anything new to anyone not living...
leLaissezFaire - June, 2011
go back

For the past few weeks our Australian public channels SBS and ABC have been on an emotional roll, with three stories that...

The Dangers of Not Wearing Genital Protection on Trams
Jane Shaw - June, 2011
Tram

I’ve been working from home for a while now, which, apart from turning me into a deranged shut-in, at least means that I...

The Dangers of Cream Coloured Pants
Jane Shaw - June, 2011
pants

Wearing cream coloured pants can be dangerous, not just a you-might-end-up-looking-like-a-very-large-biscuit kind of...

Defending Good Christians from ACL
Jane Shaw - June, 2011
wendy francis

The Australian Christian Lobby (ACL), their spokeswoman Wendy Francis and the Rip & Roll campaign for safe sex in the...

Slutwalk Melbourne
Jane Shaw - May, 2011
slutwalk melb

Slutwalk Melbourne. Read my thoughts on it here. Or not. Up to you really. But the photos are pretty cool, huh?


+ 1 ...
The Bolt Report: Dull and Duller
Justin Shaw - May, 2011
bolt report

Did you know there's a Facebook campaign to get The Bolt Report off the air? The plan is to note who advertises on the...

My night NOT watching the wedding
Jane Shaw - April, 2011
Indigo girls

I didn’t watch the royal wedding, not because I’m a rabid anti monarchist or a hater of inbred gits (I’m not). I just...

More SHOUT