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The Kings Tribune

The King's Tribune - February 2012

Editors’ Rant - Feb 2012
Jane and Justin Shaw - February, 2012
jane shaw

If you’re a Tribune fan (and we guess you must be since you’re reading this and if you’re not reading this then we...

Preface to a Counter Protest
Torrey Orton - February, 2012
abortion protest

Defence of the Fertility Control Clinic

The front gate of the Fertility Control Clinic in East Melbourne is a frontline of...

I’m not a climate scientist but...
Jane Shaw - February, 2012
climate scientist

Anyone who’s ever been in a car with children will know that when they’re not crying, pulling each other’s hair or...

What We Talk About When We Talk About Socialism
Tim Dunlop - February, 2012
socialism

The taxi driver in Maui picked the accent straight away.

“Look out!” he said. “The Aussies are here!”

Turns out he used to...

Science
Ben Pobjie - February, 2012
science

First of all, let me make it very clear: I do not have a problem with science. Secondly, let me make it even clearer: I...

Intelligent Design - It's NOT Science
Justin Shaw - February, 2012
darwin

Perhaps I should preface this article with “I’m not a scientist, but…”.

A long time ago, people used to believe that it...

Getting Rid of the Ute
Jo Thornely - February, 2012
uterus

I never used to drive my car. It sat outside my house, different random parts either rusting or drying out depending on...

Why I Can’t Get Behind Soften The Fck Up
Bill Street - February, 2012
soften the fck up

Soften The Fck Up is an initiative aimed at breaking down the “tough Aussie bloke” façade and getting men to open up to...

Weddings
Dominic Knight - February, 2012
weddings

In the last six weeks of 2011, I attended six weddings. Week after week I found myself donning a suit to spend the day...

On SOPA
Dan Nolan - February, 2012
stop SOPA

I imagine most of you reading this have a blog or your own little website, a place where you’ve invested time and energy...

A History Of Stupidity
Adam vanLangenberg - February, 2012
vaccination

In 1796 a very special and very dangerous kind of idiot was born.

Smallpox was running rampant throughout Europe until a...

Gaming is for Grown Ups
Bennett Ring - February, 2012
gaming

As a full-time technology journalist who has specialised in the critiquing of video games for over a decade, you’d be...

Simulation
Thomas Cummings - February, 2012
gambling

Oh yes, I’m the great pretender
Adrift in a world of my own
I play the game but to my real shame
You’ve left me to...

Nigella, The Antechinus Family, And The West’s...
Dr Jennifer Wilson - February, 2012
nigella

I used to love watching acclaimed kitchen goddess, the luscious Nigella Lawson, when she first appeared on the small...

Political Affiliation
Andrew Tiedt - February, 2012
bolt

Some people hold political affiliations with an almost religious fervour.

Their political beliefs shape everything, from...

Lessons from A Caravan Park
Dave Gaukroger - February, 2012
caravan park

Most of us have memories of staying in a caravan park. Whether it was as kids, parents, schoolies or backpackers, the...

Resurrecting the Hors d’Œuvre Course
Sunday Relish - February, 2012
hors doeuvre

An hors d’œuvre course to the French, like antipasto to the Italians, is the start of the midday meal. Individual, small,...

Wine Online
Duncan Wilcox - February, 2012
El Wino

Wine retailing, like the rest of the retailing world, is going through a bit of a seismic shift from bricks & mortar to...

Cryptic Crossword - Feb12
{ga=admin} - February, 2012

As always, first correctly completed cryptic crossword sent to

In a Better World - Feb 2012
Alex Hallatt - February, 2012
Alex Hallatt


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Politics

Political Affiliation
Andrew Tiedt - February, 2012
bolt

Some people hold political affiliations with an almost religious fervour.

Their political beliefs shape everything, from...

Preface to a Counter Protest
Torrey Orton - February, 2012
abortion protest

Defence of the Fertility Control Clinic

The front gate of the Fertility Control Clinic in East Melbourne is a frontline of...

On SOPA
Dan Nolan - February, 2012
stop SOPA

I imagine most of you reading this have a blog or your own little website, a place where you’ve invested time and energy...

Australia’s School Funding Quagmire
Bronwyn Hinz - January, 2012
school funding

Australia has one of the most complex, inconsistent and opaque school funding arrangements in the developed world. You...

What We Talk About When We Talk About Socialism
Tim Dunlop - February, 2012
socialism

The taxi driver in Maui picked the accent straight away.

“Look out!” he said. “The Aussies are here!”

Turns out he used to...

I Have A Question And My Question Is This:
Tim Dunlop - January, 2012
gillard abbott

Who the fuck am I meant to vote for at the next Federal election? This is not a rhetorical question. I really want to...

More POLITICS

Anecdotage

Lessons from A Caravan Park
Dave Gaukroger - February, 2012
caravan park

Most of us have memories of staying in a caravan park. Whether it was as kids, parents, schoolies or backpackers, the...

A Conspiracy Of Feathered Simpletons
Mat Larkin - January, 2012
editorial consultant

And then, of course, there’s the question of the evolutionary future of pigeons.

A while ago, through a series of...

Weddings
Dominic Knight - February, 2012
weddings

In the last six weeks of 2011, I attended six weddings. Week after week I found myself donning a suit to spend the day...

Thank You, Batman
Mat Larkin - October, 2011
batman

Time is a mighty river, and I am an ominously unpiloted rental kayak floating past the picnic area.

It’s my first day at a...

Science
Ben Pobjie - February, 2012
science

First of all, let me make it very clear: I do not have a problem with science. Secondly, let me make it even clearer: I...

From Swords to Soundbites - HENRY I
Jane Shaw - October, 2011
bayeux

King Henry I of England, known to later generations as Henry Beauclerc, the Lion Of Justice, succeeded his flamboyant...

More ANECDOTAGE

Media

Simulation
Thomas Cummings - February, 2012
gambling

Oh yes, I’m the great pretender
Adrift in a world of my own
I play the game but to my real shame
You’ve left me to...

On SOPA
Dan Nolan - February, 2012
stop SOPA

I imagine most of you reading this have a blog or your own little website, a place where you’ve invested time and energy...

Gaming is for Grown Ups
Bennett Ring - February, 2012
gaming

As a full-time technology journalist who has specialised in the critiquing of video games for over a decade, you’d be...

Why I Can’t Get Behind Soften The Fck Up
Bill Street - February, 2012
soften the fck up

Soften The Fck Up is an initiative aimed at breaking down the “tough Aussie bloke” façade and getting men to open up to...

A History Of Stupidity
Adam vanLangenberg - February, 2012
vaccination

In 1796 a very special and very dangerous kind of idiot was born.

Smallpox was running rampant throughout Europe until a...

Credentials & Democratic Decline
Leslie Cannold - October, 2011
credentials

‘People should be aware of what’s out there. And not believe what they read just because it’s written.’

Astro-turf...

More MEDIA

 



Christmas Wish

christmas wishAfter the age of ten I was never really into Christmas. I just couldn’t see the point, generally we’d all leave our comfortable house and head somewhere, we didn’t really want to go, to talk to people that we spent most of the year trying to avoid. It made no sense. As I got older Christmas became more and more like attending a strip club. It was ridiculously expensive and at the end of it you walked away feeling more than a little disappointed.

My outlook on Christmas has changed now that beloved and offspring have entered my life. Children really do bring the ol’ Christmas spirit back into your life as you start reflecting on what it all means just to spend a few days reveling in your family’s company. This year we are once again taking the pilgrimage to Swan Hill to join beloved’s aunt, uncle and cousins in food, bevvies and gifts. We are of course, driving.

This brings me to the point of the article. This is the time of the year that most people will undertake their longest drive of the year. It is also the time of the year that we get to see Ken Lay on our televisions, radios and web browsers flapping on about how the police are going to get every one that breaks the law so no-one gets hurt. Nice sentiment but it is highly unlikely that this year’s holiday road toll will be any less than last years. So, it’s time for me to get all preachy on your asses and provide some holiday driving tips.

Fatigue is one of the biggest causes behind all collisions in this state. I have said this before and will continue to stand behind the statement. Driving is strenuous. I know it doesn’t seem like it as all you are doing is sitting down, whacking the cruise control on and steering but; even if you don’t realize it your brain is processing a bucket load of information every second. The majority of this information is related to the actual act of driving. Cars ahead, cars behind, rough bit of road, corner ahead, speed of your vehicle not too mention carrying on conversations with passengers and attempting to control your children. Why anyone would want to throw a mobile phone into the mix at this point is beyond me.

Driving is no different to any other activity. The more you do it, the better you’ll get. It amazes me that people who drive no further than the two or three kilometers to the train station each day consider themselves properly fit to drive the twelve hours to Sydney from Melbourne in one hit. Madness people, madness. Swap drivers often and if you are the only one capable of driving the car, take a break every couple of hours. This costs you nothing but time and could very well save your life.

What is the condition of your vehicle? When did you last check the tyres for tread and pressure? People are still prepared to skimp on the most important element of a car. That’s right the MOST important. Tyres are the only contact between your car and the road. You need to check them before you go anywhere, let alone a long drive. Correct tyre pressure will not only help your tyres grip the road they will also increase your fuel economy, same story with tread.

Generally with tyres you get what you pay for and just because the latest Chinese no-name brands are selling for $49 each does not mean you should buy them. Experience is everything and Bridgestone, Michelin, Pirelli, Continental and Goodyear have been making the black donuts for nearly a century each and know what they are doing. I’m currently using and highly recommend Bridgestone Potenza Adrenalins and although the size I install cost about $500 each they are well worth the money. I got some for a little Mazda 323 and they were only $170 each.

All fluids should be checked, including window washer bottle. Brake, transmission and power steering fluids as well as radiator and oil levels are greatly important to how your vehicle will perform on a long trip. If you don’t know how to check these things, find out or take your vehicle to your local mechanic.

Probably the most important thing though is this. Just take care of each other out there. Consider your whole surroundings and not just the three meters in front of your bonnet. Indicate early before you merge or change lanes. Maintain a gap to the car in front, two seconds is what is commonly recommended and I’ll concur. I usually try for this and it has saved me costly repairs a few times in the last couple of months alone. Watch the vehicles ahead. If they’re braking it’s probably for a reason so remove your foot from the throttle and prepare yourself to do the same.

Letting people in to your lane ahead of you is not an admission of weakness. It will cost you about half a second at the most and will remove much stress from both you and the person you are letting in. Also, consider this, you will never be penalised by the police or cameras for driving at the speed limit. Having said this, drive to the conditions at whatever speed you feel comfortable. If you feel unable to do 100 km/h on the freeway or highways stick to the left hand lane or even find an alternate route.

Plan your journey. I know the need to do this has diminished since the advent of GPS technologies, but, having a general idea of where you will be going is not going to hurt. Plus, GPS does not always know best and does not always take into account things like road works, traffic signals and current traffic conditions. If you don’t want to fill your car with maps then Google Maps or WhereIs.com can help you out.

So, that’s about it for this year. Skoeman’s Holiday Driving Tips. There are other little things you can do to make your holiday driving easier but I have space to consider, these are the major ones. However, I would also like to point out that these don’t just need to be holiday driving tips. Using them every day won’t, as the TAC like to put it, kill you. Happy holidays.


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THE SHOUT

Why We Turned The Comments Off
Jane Shaw - February, 2012
comments

The inestimable Tim Dunlop and I were having coffee together a few months back and discussing internet trolls, the...

Private Brutality and the Police
Jane Shaw - November, 2011
victoria police

There's been a bit of screeching in the blogosphere about police brutality at the OccupyMelbourne protests. It's not...

A Day In Life
Jane Shaw - November, 2011
hilary clinton

3:47am: Sit bolt upright in bed groping around for bellows. Stare around darkened bedroom trying to work out why am not...

Boats Under The Beds
Jane Shaw - November, 2011
octopus

"Politics hates a vacuum. If it isn't filled with hope, someone will fill it with fear."
Naomi Klein

Australians are...

Pokies Industry is Tekken Ur Jurbs
Jane Shaw - October, 2011
reform cost jobs

Ever since the vagaries of politics put Andrew Wilkie into a position where he could insist on gambling reforms, Clubs...

The Tribune on RRR Breakfasters
Jane Shaw - October, 2011
RRR Breakfasters

Popped my being-on-the-radio cherry this morning, with the help of the RRR Breakfasters.

As you can tell from the shaky...

News Ltd v Julia Gillard
Fake Paul Keating - August, 2011
john hartigan big harto

The slapfest is ON.

It started on Monday. Glenn Milne rehashed some old rumours about Prime Minister Julia Gillard that...

Choice between motherhood and career got a little easier...
Jane Shaw - August, 2011
samantha maiden

I went to the Melbourne Writers Festival panel on political journalism this morning, because if Lindsay Tanner, Samantha...

News Flash
Justin Shaw - August, 2011
london riots

News Flash, folks: there are shitheads in the world. Some of them are rich, some of them are poor, they come from every...

What's happened to The Tribune?
Jane and Justin Shaw - July, 2011

Some of you may have noticed that things have been quiet here at Casa Del Tribune lately. Too quiet.

About June this year...

Send Lawyers, Guns And Money
Justin Shaw - July, 2011
rupert murdoch

After about an hour of the Murdochs' committee appearance the other night I was just about ready to stick knitting...

Internet Killed The Rebellious Youth Star
Barclay White - July, 2011
kerry ann planking

If ever I need proof that each generation is softer than the last I think of this: When my grandfather was my age he was...

Musings From The Motor Show
Skoeman - July, 2011
MelbMotorShow

The Australian International Motor Show has returned to Melbourne this year.

I love the Motor Show, for it brings all the...

None of this should be anything new to anyone not living...
leLaissezFaire - June, 2011
go back

For the past few weeks our Australian public channels SBS and ABC have been on an emotional roll, with three stories that...

The Dangers of Not Wearing Genital Protection on Trams
Jane Shaw - June, 2011
Tram

I’ve been working from home for a while now, which, apart from turning me into a deranged shut-in, at least means that I...

The Dangers of Cream Coloured Pants
Jane Shaw - June, 2011
pants

Wearing cream coloured pants can be dangerous, not just a you-might-end-up-looking-like-a-very-large-biscuit kind of...

Defending Good Christians from ACL
Jane Shaw - June, 2011
wendy francis

The Australian Christian Lobby (ACL), their spokeswoman Wendy Francis and the Rip & Roll campaign for safe sex in the...

Slutwalk Melbourne
Jane Shaw - May, 2011
slutwalk melb

Slutwalk Melbourne. Read my thoughts on it here. Or not. Up to you really. But the photos are pretty cool, huh?


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The Bolt Report: Dull and Duller
Justin Shaw - May, 2011
bolt report

Did you know there's a Facebook campaign to get The Bolt Report off the air? The plan is to note who advertises on the...

My night NOT watching the wedding
Jane Shaw - April, 2011
Indigo girls

I didn’t watch the royal wedding, not because I’m a rabid anti monarchist or a hater of inbred gits (I’m not). I just...

More SHOUT