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The Kings Tribune

The King's Tribune - February 2012

Editors’ Rant - Feb 2012
Jane and Justin Shaw - February, 2012
jane shaw

If you’re a Tribune fan (and we guess you must be since you’re reading this and if you’re not reading this then we...

Preface to a Counter Protest
Torrey Orton - February, 2012
abortion protest

Defence of the Fertility Control Clinic

The front gate of the Fertility Control Clinic in East Melbourne is a frontline of...

I’m not a climate scientist but...
Jane Shaw - February, 2012
climate scientist

Anyone who’s ever been in a car with children will know that when they’re not crying, pulling each other’s hair or...

What We Talk About When We Talk About Socialism
Tim Dunlop - February, 2012
socialism

The taxi driver in Maui picked the accent straight away.

“Look out!” he said. “The Aussies are here!”

Turns out he used to...

Science
Ben Pobjie - February, 2012
science

First of all, let me make it very clear: I do not have a problem with science. Secondly, let me make it even clearer: I...

Intelligent Design - It's NOT Science
Justin Shaw - February, 2012
darwin

Perhaps I should preface this article with “I’m not a scientist, but…”.

A long time ago, people used to believe that it...

Getting Rid of the Ute
Jo Thornely - February, 2012
uterus

I never used to drive my car. It sat outside my house, different random parts either rusting or drying out depending on...

Why I Can’t Get Behind Soften The Fck Up
Bill Street - February, 2012
soften the fck up

Soften The Fck Up is an initiative aimed at breaking down the “tough Aussie bloke” façade and getting men to open up to...

Weddings
Dominic Knight - February, 2012
weddings

In the last six weeks of 2011, I attended six weddings. Week after week I found myself donning a suit to spend the day...

On SOPA
Dan Nolan - February, 2012
stop SOPA

I imagine most of you reading this have a blog or your own little website, a place where you’ve invested time and energy...

A History Of Stupidity
Adam vanLangenberg - February, 2012
vaccination

In 1796 a very special and very dangerous kind of idiot was born.

Smallpox was running rampant throughout Europe until a...

Gaming is for Grown Ups
Bennett Ring - February, 2012
gaming

As a full-time technology journalist who has specialised in the critiquing of video games for over a decade, you’d be...

Simulation
Thomas Cummings - February, 2012
gambling

Oh yes, I’m the great pretender
Adrift in a world of my own
I play the game but to my real shame
You’ve left me to...

Nigella, The Antechinus Family, And The West’s...
Dr Jennifer Wilson - February, 2012
nigella

I used to love watching acclaimed kitchen goddess, the luscious Nigella Lawson, when she first appeared on the small...

Political Affiliation
Andrew Tiedt - February, 2012
bolt

Some people hold political affiliations with an almost religious fervour.

Their political beliefs shape everything, from...

Lessons from A Caravan Park
Dave Gaukroger - February, 2012
caravan park

Most of us have memories of staying in a caravan park. Whether it was as kids, parents, schoolies or backpackers, the...

Resurrecting the Hors d’Œuvre Course
Sunday Relish - February, 2012
hors doeuvre

An hors d’œuvre course to the French, like antipasto to the Italians, is the start of the midday meal. Individual, small,...

Wine Online
Duncan Wilcox - February, 2012
El Wino

Wine retailing, like the rest of the retailing world, is going through a bit of a seismic shift from bricks & mortar to...

Cryptic Crossword - Feb12
{ga=admin} - February, 2012

As always, first correctly completed cryptic crossword sent to

In a Better World - Feb 2012
Alex Hallatt - February, 2012
Alex Hallatt


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Politics

Political Affiliation
Andrew Tiedt - February, 2012
bolt

Some people hold political affiliations with an almost religious fervour.

Their political beliefs shape everything, from...

Preface to a Counter Protest
Torrey Orton - February, 2012
abortion protest

Defence of the Fertility Control Clinic

The front gate of the Fertility Control Clinic in East Melbourne is a frontline of...

On SOPA
Dan Nolan - February, 2012
stop SOPA

I imagine most of you reading this have a blog or your own little website, a place where you’ve invested time and energy...

Australia’s School Funding Quagmire
Bronwyn Hinz - January, 2012
school funding

Australia has one of the most complex, inconsistent and opaque school funding arrangements in the developed world. You...

What We Talk About When We Talk About Socialism
Tim Dunlop - February, 2012
socialism

The taxi driver in Maui picked the accent straight away.

“Look out!” he said. “The Aussies are here!”

Turns out he used to...

I Have A Question And My Question Is This:
Tim Dunlop - January, 2012
gillard abbott

Who the fuck am I meant to vote for at the next Federal election? This is not a rhetorical question. I really want to...

More POLITICS

Anecdotage

Lessons from A Caravan Park
Dave Gaukroger - February, 2012
caravan park

Most of us have memories of staying in a caravan park. Whether it was as kids, parents, schoolies or backpackers, the...

A Conspiracy Of Feathered Simpletons
Mat Larkin - January, 2012
editorial consultant

And then, of course, there’s the question of the evolutionary future of pigeons.

A while ago, through a series of...

Weddings
Dominic Knight - February, 2012
weddings

In the last six weeks of 2011, I attended six weddings. Week after week I found myself donning a suit to spend the day...

Thank You, Batman
Mat Larkin - October, 2011
batman

Time is a mighty river, and I am an ominously unpiloted rental kayak floating past the picnic area.

It’s my first day at a...

Science
Ben Pobjie - February, 2012
science

First of all, let me make it very clear: I do not have a problem with science. Secondly, let me make it even clearer: I...

From Swords to Soundbites - HENRY I
Jane Shaw - October, 2011
bayeux

King Henry I of England, known to later generations as Henry Beauclerc, the Lion Of Justice, succeeded his flamboyant...

More ANECDOTAGE

Media

Simulation
Thomas Cummings - February, 2012
gambling

Oh yes, I’m the great pretender
Adrift in a world of my own
I play the game but to my real shame
You’ve left me to...

On SOPA
Dan Nolan - February, 2012
stop SOPA

I imagine most of you reading this have a blog or your own little website, a place where you’ve invested time and energy...

Gaming is for Grown Ups
Bennett Ring - February, 2012
gaming

As a full-time technology journalist who has specialised in the critiquing of video games for over a decade, you’d be...

Why I Can’t Get Behind Soften The Fck Up
Bill Street - February, 2012
soften the fck up

Soften The Fck Up is an initiative aimed at breaking down the “tough Aussie bloke” façade and getting men to open up to...

A History Of Stupidity
Adam vanLangenberg - February, 2012
vaccination

In 1796 a very special and very dangerous kind of idiot was born.

Smallpox was running rampant throughout Europe until a...

Credentials & Democratic Decline
Leslie Cannold - October, 2011
credentials

‘People should be aware of what’s out there. And not believe what they read just because it’s written.’

Astro-turf...

More MEDIA

 



Well done activists, now lots of horses will die.

horse jumpingWell It’s Come To This……

“OH MY GOD!!”

The cry from beloved was so full of anguish that it made me look around for attacking ninja, the kids to run for cover and for the fish to continue swimming unconcernedly. What the hell?

I ask what is wrong and got an answer I could never have been ready for: “I’ve just agreed with a Robyn Riley article.” No, I could never be ready for that.

I read the article shortly after this and found that I too also agreed with it. The world will never be the same. Ms. Riley has written about the recent ban on jumps racing, and how it will mean the death of thousands of perfectly healthy horses.

I think I have worked out how to influence policy in this state. What you need to do is find a small number of like-minded individuals and start writing letters to various people in a position of influence. Find people who disagree with you and try to change their opinions. If they start providing intelligent answers to your questions then shout at them, long and loud, until they simply walk away, unable to put up with your shrill, adenoidal voice any longer. Find facts that back up your story, if you can’t find any just make them up and pretend they’re true. Everyone will be so impressed by your conviction that they won’t bother checking your “facts”, mainly because they will have all walked away, shaking their heads and trying to clear the echoes of said shrill voice.

Jumps Racing is banned from the end of 2010. The animal activists have got together and all twenty of them have forced the Victorian Racing Club to end an industry that employs thousands of people, and cares for (yes, that’s right: cares for) the animals involved.

The original complaint came from the fact that several horses had died while racing in Jumps events. The VRC initially had a think about it and came up with brush top jumps. Rather than save the horse it had the reverse effect. More horses died, the shouting only got louder, more people got headaches and paracetamol sales went up.

Beloved and I are horse people, insofar as, well, we own one. Our boy Jet is a bay thoroughbred gelding and is a marvelous example of how beautiful these creatures can be. Beloved does light work with him on weekends while I walk around his paddock picking up poo. The sight of him jumping for joy (not a euphemism) at the sight of his feed bucket always makes me smile. He is extremely placid and appears to love us as much as we love him. This is the point that the shouty people don’t seem to get. Everyone who works with horses by choice loves their animals. This also goes for the horse racing industry.

Beloved used to work in the industry, I have no such experience. So the next bit will have to be taken with a fair bit of salt as I didn’t check with her to see if I was right; if you all assume that I am, it will go a bit smoother.

The life of a race horse starts off pretty well standard: live in a paddock eat, drink and run around like a loon for about twelve months. Then training starts, this basically consists of living in a paddock, eating, drinking and running around in a more controlled fashion. At two years of age, racing beckons, and this consists of eating, drinking and running around with a little person on your back in a more tightly controlled fashion. This will continue until the horse is about four or five years of age. A decision is then made, based on ability and soundnesss, as to whether racing continues or other options are presented.

A horse that is no longer fit for racing, whether through health or ability, can go onto become a dressage/equestrian horse, a pleasure horse (like our Jet), a jumps horse (until recently), or they can go off to the knackery where they will be turned into glue, dog food and cheap sustenance for detained refugees.

I have had many conversations about horse racing with uneducated types who simply spout the mistruth that it’s animal cruelty. If you are someone who thinks this way I urge you to head out to the Flemington stables and look at how these animals live and are treated. They are given the very best in food, care and shelter. It is so good in fact that even the ancient pharaohs would have had the decency to look around their surroundings and whisper, “Don’t you think this is a bit much?” The simple fact is there is no benefit to the stables to mistreat their charges. Spending the money on care is more likely to net them money on the track.

So we come to Jumps racing. I mentioned above that the VRC installed brush top jumps to combat horse falls and it appears to have failed miserably. All evidence points to the fact that horses aren’t stupid. They soon worked out that the top of the jumps weren’t solid and they could run right through them. This, coupled with the innate desire of the thoroughbred to run and run, meant that the general speed of jumps racing increased dramatically. More falls were inevitable, which unfortunately, meant more horses were injured and had to be put down.

We’re still talking about just over ten horses over the jumps racing season and, while it is very sad that it occurs at all, it is still better to provide many horses with an alternative career to what will happen when jumps racing ceases to be. As Ms. Riley pointed out in her article, stables aren’t charities, and no racing stable is going to hang onto a horse that can’t race. Feeding, vet bills and general stabling costs make hanging onto uncompetitive horses unprofitable and therefore unlikely to happen.

As I write this I still can’t fathom what the activists were trying to achieve here. Animal cruelty? Not really a factor. I do know that they have managed to put trainers, strappers, jockeys and other associated people out of work not to mention punch massive budgetary holes in regional centres like Warrnambool, often regarded as one of the premier jump locations in not only Victoria but Australia, but all this pales into comparison when compared to what will now happen to the horses.

So, I say this to anyone who has worked with the activists, signed a petition or in any other way performed to achieve the ban on jumps racing. Well done. The blood is on your hands. To save a dozen horses a year you have condemned hundreds to death. Sleep well.


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THE SHOUT

Why We Turned The Comments Off
Jane Shaw - February, 2012
comments

The inestimable Tim Dunlop and I were having coffee together a few months back and discussing internet trolls, the...

Private Brutality and the Police
Jane Shaw - November, 2011
victoria police

There's been a bit of screeching in the blogosphere about police brutality at the OccupyMelbourne protests. It's not...

A Day In Life
Jane Shaw - November, 2011
hilary clinton

3:47am: Sit bolt upright in bed groping around for bellows. Stare around darkened bedroom trying to work out why am not...

Boats Under The Beds
Jane Shaw - November, 2011
octopus

"Politics hates a vacuum. If it isn't filled with hope, someone will fill it with fear."
Naomi Klein

Australians are...

Pokies Industry is Tekken Ur Jurbs
Jane Shaw - October, 2011
reform cost jobs

Ever since the vagaries of politics put Andrew Wilkie into a position where he could insist on gambling reforms, Clubs...

The Tribune on RRR Breakfasters
Jane Shaw - October, 2011
RRR Breakfasters

Popped my being-on-the-radio cherry this morning, with the help of the RRR Breakfasters.

As you can tell from the shaky...

News Ltd v Julia Gillard
Fake Paul Keating - August, 2011
john hartigan big harto

The slapfest is ON.

It started on Monday. Glenn Milne rehashed some old rumours about Prime Minister Julia Gillard that...

Choice between motherhood and career got a little easier...
Jane Shaw - August, 2011
samantha maiden

I went to the Melbourne Writers Festival panel on political journalism this morning, because if Lindsay Tanner, Samantha...

News Flash
Justin Shaw - August, 2011
london riots

News Flash, folks: there are shitheads in the world. Some of them are rich, some of them are poor, they come from every...

What's happened to The Tribune?
Jane and Justin Shaw - July, 2011

Some of you may have noticed that things have been quiet here at Casa Del Tribune lately. Too quiet.

About June this year...

Send Lawyers, Guns And Money
Justin Shaw - July, 2011
rupert murdoch

After about an hour of the Murdochs' committee appearance the other night I was just about ready to stick knitting...

Internet Killed The Rebellious Youth Star
Barclay White - July, 2011
kerry ann planking

If ever I need proof that each generation is softer than the last I think of this: When my grandfather was my age he was...

Musings From The Motor Show
Skoeman - July, 2011
MelbMotorShow

The Australian International Motor Show has returned to Melbourne this year.

I love the Motor Show, for it brings all the...

None of this should be anything new to anyone not living...
leLaissezFaire - June, 2011
go back

For the past few weeks our Australian public channels SBS and ABC have been on an emotional roll, with three stories that...

The Dangers of Not Wearing Genital Protection on Trams
Jane Shaw - June, 2011
Tram

I’ve been working from home for a while now, which, apart from turning me into a deranged shut-in, at least means that I...

The Dangers of Cream Coloured Pants
Jane Shaw - June, 2011
pants

Wearing cream coloured pants can be dangerous, not just a you-might-end-up-looking-like-a-very-large-biscuit kind of...

Defending Good Christians from ACL
Jane Shaw - June, 2011
wendy francis

The Australian Christian Lobby (ACL), their spokeswoman Wendy Francis and the Rip & Roll campaign for safe sex in the...

Slutwalk Melbourne
Jane Shaw - May, 2011
slutwalk melb

Slutwalk Melbourne. Read my thoughts on it here. Or not. Up to you really. But the photos are pretty cool, huh?


+ 1 ...
The Bolt Report: Dull and Duller
Justin Shaw - May, 2011
bolt report

Did you know there's a Facebook campaign to get The Bolt Report off the air? The plan is to note who advertises on the...

My night NOT watching the wedding
Jane Shaw - April, 2011
Indigo girls

I didn’t watch the royal wedding, not because I’m a rabid anti monarchist or a hater of inbred gits (I’m not). I just...

More SHOUT