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The Kings Tribune

The King's Tribune - February 2012

Editors’ Rant - Feb 2012
Jane and Justin Shaw - February, 2012
jane shaw

If you’re a Tribune fan (and we guess you must be since you’re reading this and if you’re not reading this then we...

Preface to a Counter Protest
Torrey Orton - February, 2012
abortion protest

Defence of the Fertility Control Clinic

The front gate of the Fertility Control Clinic in East Melbourne is a frontline of...

I’m not a climate scientist but...
Jane Shaw - February, 2012
climate scientist

Anyone who’s ever been in a car with children will know that when they’re not crying, pulling each other’s hair or...

What We Talk About When We Talk About Socialism
Tim Dunlop - February, 2012
socialism

The taxi driver in Maui picked the accent straight away.

“Look out!” he said. “The Aussies are here!”

Turns out he used to...

Science
Ben Pobjie - February, 2012
science

First of all, let me make it very clear: I do not have a problem with science. Secondly, let me make it even clearer: I...

Intelligent Design - It's NOT Science
Justin Shaw - February, 2012
darwin

Perhaps I should preface this article with “I’m not a scientist, but…”.

A long time ago, people used to believe that it...

Getting Rid of the Ute
Jo Thornely - February, 2012
uterus

I never used to drive my car. It sat outside my house, different random parts either rusting or drying out depending on...

Why I Can’t Get Behind Soften The Fck Up
Bill Street - February, 2012
soften the fck up

Soften The Fck Up is an initiative aimed at breaking down the “tough Aussie bloke” façade and getting men to open up to...

Weddings
Dominic Knight - February, 2012
weddings

In the last six weeks of 2011, I attended six weddings. Week after week I found myself donning a suit to spend the day...

On SOPA
Dan Nolan - February, 2012
stop SOPA

I imagine most of you reading this have a blog or your own little website, a place where you’ve invested time and energy...

A History Of Stupidity
Adam vanLangenberg - February, 2012
vaccination

In 1796 a very special and very dangerous kind of idiot was born.

Smallpox was running rampant throughout Europe until a...

Gaming is for Grown Ups
Bennett Ring - February, 2012
gaming

As a full-time technology journalist who has specialised in the critiquing of video games for over a decade, you’d be...

Simulation
Thomas Cummings - February, 2012
gambling

Oh yes, I’m the great pretender
Adrift in a world of my own
I play the game but to my real shame
You’ve left me to...

Nigella, The Antechinus Family, And The West’s...
Dr Jennifer Wilson - February, 2012
nigella

I used to love watching acclaimed kitchen goddess, the luscious Nigella Lawson, when she first appeared on the small...

Political Affiliation
Andrew Tiedt - February, 2012
bolt

Some people hold political affiliations with an almost religious fervour.

Their political beliefs shape everything, from...

Lessons from A Caravan Park
Dave Gaukroger - February, 2012
caravan park

Most of us have memories of staying in a caravan park. Whether it was as kids, parents, schoolies or backpackers, the...

Resurrecting the Hors d’Œuvre Course
Sunday Relish - February, 2012
hors doeuvre

An hors d’œuvre course to the French, like antipasto to the Italians, is the start of the midday meal. Individual, small,...

Wine Online
Duncan Wilcox - February, 2012
El Wino

Wine retailing, like the rest of the retailing world, is going through a bit of a seismic shift from bricks & mortar to...

Cryptic Crossword - Feb12
{ga=admin} - February, 2012

As always, first correctly completed cryptic crossword sent to

In a Better World - Feb 2012
Alex Hallatt - February, 2012
Alex Hallatt


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Politics

Political Affiliation
Andrew Tiedt - February, 2012
bolt

Some people hold political affiliations with an almost religious fervour.

Their political beliefs shape everything, from...

Preface to a Counter Protest
Torrey Orton - February, 2012
abortion protest

Defence of the Fertility Control Clinic

The front gate of the Fertility Control Clinic in East Melbourne is a frontline of...

On SOPA
Dan Nolan - February, 2012
stop SOPA

I imagine most of you reading this have a blog or your own little website, a place where you’ve invested time and energy...

Australia’s School Funding Quagmire
Bronwyn Hinz - January, 2012
school funding

Australia has one of the most complex, inconsistent and opaque school funding arrangements in the developed world. You...

What We Talk About When We Talk About Socialism
Tim Dunlop - February, 2012
socialism

The taxi driver in Maui picked the accent straight away.

“Look out!” he said. “The Aussies are here!”

Turns out he used to...

I Have A Question And My Question Is This:
Tim Dunlop - January, 2012
gillard abbott

Who the fuck am I meant to vote for at the next Federal election? This is not a rhetorical question. I really want to...

More POLITICS

Anecdotage

Lessons from A Caravan Park
Dave Gaukroger - February, 2012
caravan park

Most of us have memories of staying in a caravan park. Whether it was as kids, parents, schoolies or backpackers, the...

A Conspiracy Of Feathered Simpletons
Mat Larkin - January, 2012
editorial consultant

And then, of course, there’s the question of the evolutionary future of pigeons.

A while ago, through a series of...

Weddings
Dominic Knight - February, 2012
weddings

In the last six weeks of 2011, I attended six weddings. Week after week I found myself donning a suit to spend the day...

Thank You, Batman
Mat Larkin - October, 2011
batman

Time is a mighty river, and I am an ominously unpiloted rental kayak floating past the picnic area.

It’s my first day at a...

Science
Ben Pobjie - February, 2012
science

First of all, let me make it very clear: I do not have a problem with science. Secondly, let me make it even clearer: I...

From Swords to Soundbites - HENRY I
Jane Shaw - October, 2011
bayeux

King Henry I of England, known to later generations as Henry Beauclerc, the Lion Of Justice, succeeded his flamboyant...

More ANECDOTAGE

Media

Simulation
Thomas Cummings - February, 2012
gambling

Oh yes, I’m the great pretender
Adrift in a world of my own
I play the game but to my real shame
You’ve left me to...

On SOPA
Dan Nolan - February, 2012
stop SOPA

I imagine most of you reading this have a blog or your own little website, a place where you’ve invested time and energy...

Gaming is for Grown Ups
Bennett Ring - February, 2012
gaming

As a full-time technology journalist who has specialised in the critiquing of video games for over a decade, you’d be...

Why I Can’t Get Behind Soften The Fck Up
Bill Street - February, 2012
soften the fck up

Soften The Fck Up is an initiative aimed at breaking down the “tough Aussie bloke” façade and getting men to open up to...

A History Of Stupidity
Adam vanLangenberg - February, 2012
vaccination

In 1796 a very special and very dangerous kind of idiot was born.

Smallpox was running rampant throughout Europe until a...

Credentials & Democratic Decline
Leslie Cannold - October, 2011
credentials

‘People should be aware of what’s out there. And not believe what they read just because it’s written.’

Astro-turf...

More MEDIA

 



Lest We Presume

There is a point in everyone’s almanac where they admit defeat on summer’s behalf and embrace winter. The scarves and jackets are retrieved from the cupboard above the wardrobe, and the Havianas and shorts are packed away with longing thoughts of sunny days to come.

Personally, I have been able to put a date to this seasonal calorific transition for many a year: the 25th of April. On every other day I am happy to let dawn and all its glory wash over me from the comfort of a deep sleep, every year on ANZAC day however, I have beaten the sun to the starting point of its daily march and made my way to the dawn service.

Whether it be borne out of a somewhat traditionalist heart or memories and values instilled by a brief career in the services, for as long as I can remember, I have felt the need to pay my respects to those who have laid down their lives and put themselves in harms way for a greater cause at this sombre annual requiem.

More often than not in recent years, my venue for this annual pilgrimage has been the Shrine of Remembrance, and I have often been moved by the symbolic juxtaposition of thousands of people pouring out of the trams at the Domain interchange and storming up the hill to the shine for the service. It seems a fitting homage to the young diggers who, many years before, had undertaken a similar task, to different end, that very morning.

For several years, I have fondly noted that the size of the crowd around me at the dawn service each year was growing. As the ranks of diggers had steadily thinned, and eventually marched on, I was filled with pride that a younger generation had, for whatever their personal reasons, stood together and ensured that they would be remembered and their story told. Each year seemed to bring more and more, and I felt a sting of pride that so many people didn’t need to debate the rights and wrongs of what had happened, or been personally involved, they just fronted up, stood in silence, bowed their heads and pondered. For a man who loves his sleep, and is generally convinced that five in the morning is a time to be getting home, not leaving it, it helps to ensure that ANZAC day remains one of my favourite days of the year.

You see, for a while now, I have also witnessed with dismay the growing tide of folk seemingly intent on tearing at the fabric of my favourite day of the year. Every year, a couple of weeks before ANZAC day, I wait for it to start. Generally it begins with someone kicking the sleeping dog that is the flag/republic/national service debate and a bunch of ‘well informed’ people take to their sides of the fence and commence slinging poo. Now, that’s all fine, in fact, I love the fact that we can have a good healthy public debate about almost anything in this country, but there’s always someone who sparks up with “It’s what our diggers fought and died for.” It’s at this point that I get a little shitty. You see, the things that our diggers did (and do) fight and die for are the protection of our citizens, our sovereign territory and national interests and the rights and welfare of global citizens who find them denied.

Before you start shouting at me about Iraq and Vietnam and whatever else, I know, we don’t always get it right. But that’s the point of ANZAC day, our fighting men and women don’t sit back and debate the merits or otherwise of the cause they have been given, they just go. They mount up, man their pits, fight and sometimes die. No questions asked, no thanks sought, no quarter given. The reasons for their being there are not pondered beyond tired conversations in the mess. The Government decides, the General orders, they do.

In reality, the rights and wrongs are up for us to decide in the elected officials we install to make the choices that guide our nation, a point in itself very worthwhile debate but which would take me well beyond the page limit of this fine edition.

My point is though, that you will be hard pressed to find any current or past serving member who went to war to fight, specifically, for our flag, our Queen or our national anthem. Personally, I like our flag, I think the fact that it contains another nations emblem speaks much more about our acknowledgment of the past than it diminishes our national identity. But the tired old argument that it shouldn’t be changed because the ANZACs marched under it overly trivialises the debate, not to mention the sacrifices, that these brave souls made.

Likewise the republic: The natural urge to have a head of state that was born on these shores and emancipate ourselves from the rule of a foreign monarch is hard to argue with. At the same time, retaining the membership of a Commonwealth that binds nations to an international set of rights and responsibilities based on common heritage is entirely understandable and plausible. However, to say that the ANZAC spirit lives and dies on one side of the fence is offensive to both the debate and the legacy.

I’m fairly certain that any digger past or present would prefer be seen to fighting for the Australian public’s right to undertake in such a conversation, and not as endorsing a particular side of the debate. The national identity debate is a lively and worthwhile one, but invoking the spirit of our fallen diggers to score cheap points on either side of it pisses me off.

Nationalism is like uranium, used properly, it can be the catalyst for incredible good, but when used ignorantly, naively or maliciously it can be the basis of one of the most destructive forces known to man.

Unfortunately nationalistic ideals are often closely linked with the military. This tends to lead people to the assumption that our fighting men and women endorse some sort of nationalistic fervour, hell bent on ramming the postcard notion of Australia down the world’s throat. I firmly believe that the much overused notion of “the ANZAC spirit” does exist, but it has nothing to do with flags, Queens, white Australians, national anthems, getting boozed up or screaming “Aussie, Aussie, Aussie” at any sod who hasn’t yet figured out that you’re a pissed dickhead from below the equator. Think back to the actuality of what happened just before dawn on the 25th of April 1915 at Gallipoli Cove in Turkey. Thousands of young men from the world’s newest country huddled together in barely seaworthy landing craft, shitting themselves, covered in freezing sea spray in the predawn light. Within the hour they would be storming a cliff, in a war not of their making, for reasons they knew scant about, with hell raining down on them. Call it trite, but I don’t care, I think the ANZAC spirit, as defined by the beach sprint champions of 1915 has a lot more to do with courage, hope, mates and pride. These notions are worth remembering, and that’s what I’ll be doing come 0530 on the 25th of April from here on in.

And at the R.S.L Club later that day, I won’t be invoking their spirit to make a point about something as silly as patriotism; I’ll be holding a beer, talking some shit and having a laugh.

I think that’s what they would have wanted.


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THE SHOUT

Why We Turned The Comments Off
Jane Shaw - February, 2012
comments

The inestimable Tim Dunlop and I were having coffee together a few months back and discussing internet trolls, the...

Private Brutality and the Police
Jane Shaw - November, 2011
victoria police

There's been a bit of screeching in the blogosphere about police brutality at the OccupyMelbourne protests. It's not...

A Day In Life
Jane Shaw - November, 2011
hilary clinton

3:47am: Sit bolt upright in bed groping around for bellows. Stare around darkened bedroom trying to work out why am not...

Boats Under The Beds
Jane Shaw - November, 2011
octopus

"Politics hates a vacuum. If it isn't filled with hope, someone will fill it with fear."
Naomi Klein

Australians are...

Pokies Industry is Tekken Ur Jurbs
Jane Shaw - October, 2011
reform cost jobs

Ever since the vagaries of politics put Andrew Wilkie into a position where he could insist on gambling reforms, Clubs...

The Tribune on RRR Breakfasters
Jane Shaw - October, 2011
RRR Breakfasters

Popped my being-on-the-radio cherry this morning, with the help of the RRR Breakfasters.

As you can tell from the shaky...

News Ltd v Julia Gillard
Fake Paul Keating - August, 2011
john hartigan big harto

The slapfest is ON.

It started on Monday. Glenn Milne rehashed some old rumours about Prime Minister Julia Gillard that...

Choice between motherhood and career got a little easier...
Jane Shaw - August, 2011
samantha maiden

I went to the Melbourne Writers Festival panel on political journalism this morning, because if Lindsay Tanner, Samantha...

News Flash
Justin Shaw - August, 2011
london riots

News Flash, folks: there are shitheads in the world. Some of them are rich, some of them are poor, they come from every...

What's happened to The Tribune?
Jane and Justin Shaw - July, 2011

Some of you may have noticed that things have been quiet here at Casa Del Tribune lately. Too quiet.

About June this year...

Send Lawyers, Guns And Money
Justin Shaw - July, 2011
rupert murdoch

After about an hour of the Murdochs' committee appearance the other night I was just about ready to stick knitting...

Internet Killed The Rebellious Youth Star
Barclay White - July, 2011
kerry ann planking

If ever I need proof that each generation is softer than the last I think of this: When my grandfather was my age he was...

Musings From The Motor Show
Skoeman - July, 2011
MelbMotorShow

The Australian International Motor Show has returned to Melbourne this year.

I love the Motor Show, for it brings all the...

None of this should be anything new to anyone not living...
leLaissezFaire - June, 2011
go back

For the past few weeks our Australian public channels SBS and ABC have been on an emotional roll, with three stories that...

The Dangers of Not Wearing Genital Protection on Trams
Jane Shaw - June, 2011
Tram

I’ve been working from home for a while now, which, apart from turning me into a deranged shut-in, at least means that I...

The Dangers of Cream Coloured Pants
Jane Shaw - June, 2011
pants

Wearing cream coloured pants can be dangerous, not just a you-might-end-up-looking-like-a-very-large-biscuit kind of...

Defending Good Christians from ACL
Jane Shaw - June, 2011
wendy francis

The Australian Christian Lobby (ACL), their spokeswoman Wendy Francis and the Rip & Roll campaign for safe sex in the...

Slutwalk Melbourne
Jane Shaw - May, 2011
slutwalk melb

Slutwalk Melbourne. Read my thoughts on it here. Or not. Up to you really. But the photos are pretty cool, huh?


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The Bolt Report: Dull and Duller
Justin Shaw - May, 2011
bolt report

Did you know there's a Facebook campaign to get The Bolt Report off the air? The plan is to note who advertises on the...

My night NOT watching the wedding
Jane Shaw - April, 2011
Indigo girls

I didn’t watch the royal wedding, not because I’m a rabid anti monarchist or a hater of inbred gits (I’m not). I just...

More SHOUT