Politics, what the hell…?

Blast and bloody hell. Dog balls and arse biscuits. Have you two lost your minds?!? I tried this political writing once before. I even tried it twice, just to make damn sure I had no idea how to do it, found that I couldn’t and scurried off to the safety of motoring. Now you are asking me to do it not once, but bloody twice again, pre- and post-election. Mad I tell you.

When I last tried my hand at political writing I also mentioned that as we were in an election year, both State and Federal, politics was getting interesting. Well we’re a few weeks into the campaign proper and I’m really having trouble staying focused. I find that I really don’t care about this one. This worries me and it’s not getting any better. To explain why this might be I best start talking about cars and road safety. Ah hah, didn’t see that coming did you?

I have been thinking about this for a few weeks now, but I’ve been waiting for the stupid comments in motoring magazines and newspaper lift outs to stop before I made my official comment. Mark Skaife, former motor racing legend and team owner, recently went on a bit of a jaunt to Germany. The purpose was to look at the way Germany does its driving and to see if we Australians could learn a thing or two about motoring. Turns out, we could learn a whole lot.

You see, Germany have four times the population of Australia but only three times the amount of road related deaths. How do they do it? Mark was over there for a few weeks and ended up writing a whole report and filming a bit of a doco on why Germany had it all sorted and why we were going about things all arse about. This report was presented to Road Safety experts here in Australia and it was widely regarded by everyone to be exactly the thing we should do, with the exception of the Government. Even Ken Bloody Lay supported the document in principle.

Mark’s report focused on driver training and education, road etiquette, road construction and maintenance, all things that I have been banging on about for quite a while. Mr Skaife also suggested that certain roads, at certain times could have their speed limit raised to 140 km/h. This is what the media focused on and this is what got presented to the Australian public.

MARK SKAIFE WANTS SPEED LIMITS LIFTED TO 140 KM/H.

This, or at least variations of this, is what the media chose for their headlines and news reports. This was not what he said. What he suggested was that major freeways at late hours, when traffic was non-existent, should raise their limits, so that drivers are more engaged and don’t fall asleep, crash and die. Perfectly reasonable and responsible, instead they made him up to be the spawn of Satan, another stupid motor racing type who has no idea what it’s like driving on real roads. To qualify Mark’s statements a little bit it should be mentioned that he now spends the majority of his time teaching people about things like car control and general driving skills.

In relation to this issue the Premier gave us a picture of himself standing on the steps of Parliament house in his worst suit and best smarmy expression. A reporter asked what he thought of Victoria’s speed limits been raised to 140 km/h. Bumble said that he thought it was a stupid idea and that it would never happen. That was it. The end. Weeks of work by Skaife and it finished up as a five second sound bite on TV.

Herein lies the problem with the coverage of the current election; both State and Federal. For me to stay interested I would like, once a week, a whole hour of television devoted to speeches and discussion about policy. Maybe even twice a week if that’s what it takes. I would look at the policies of each party and compare them, scrutinise them and then choose the party I vote for based on what each will do for a) my community, b) my family and then c) me. Not necessarily in that order.

The media however, will never allow this to happen, they are the ones driving the election campaign and it is driving me batshit crazy. For instance, I don’t care about boat people. Really, I don’t. They are such a minuscule issue that it is irrelevant to the everyday lives of every Australian. Yet, the media drag this one up and then Abbott the tool runs with it, creating a whole debate over something that doesn’t matter, and, wastes time that could be better suited to talking about things that do, like health, education and motoring.

The media aren’t interested in anything political unless it can be cut up and replayed, usually out of context, as a sound bite on the evening news. They can twist it around how they want and so fuel the agenda, or candidate that they have chosen to sponsor. Journalists have become lazy and aren’t happy unless they are being spoon fed their reports and told to regurgitate exactly what their masters want. This in turn makes politician lazy. They don’t have to reveal the meat to their policies because it will never be reported anyway. This is why we end up with things like, ‘Moving Forward’ and ‘Real Action’ being shouted at us every waking moment.

So, to sum up, I don’t know. What I do know is that there now seem to be four people contesting the next election, the real Tony Abbott and Julia Gillard and the not real Tony Abbott and Julia Gillard. I guess you can take your pick. Oh, and apparently, if media coverage on Friday is anything to go by, John Howard and Kevin Rudd appear to running for the office of Prime Minister as well.

One last thing before I sign off. There is a matter of much importance about which we must speak. Porsche, say what you want about their looks, are the exponents of some of the finest engineering in the modern age. A few years ago they took the 911 Turbo (hardly what one would call a slow car), stripped out a whole bunch of weight, gave it more power and then sent that power through the rear wheels instead of all four as was originally specified. This created a monster called the 911 GT2. It was essentially a race car for the road and by all reports driving it is one of the scariest things anyone can do. Well, someone has left the liquor cabinet open at Porsche HQ and the engineers have been at the Schnapps.

Porsche have now given us the 911 GT2 RS. I know it’s a mouthful but what it is is a lighter and more powerful version of the GT2. It comes with everything you might want in a car, except sat nav, a stereo, door handles, carpets, rear seats and glass windows. But, it does have a fire extinguisher and you chose from three different types of roll cage. Many of the people who drive this car will definitely be killed and for that, particularly in this day and age of litigation and Government nannying, Porsche should be applauded.

Congratulations, you crazy Germans.

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